Introduction: These are letters to Jenny’s Girls. Who’s Jenny? Read “Remembering Jenny, Pt.1” Jenny was a young woman, 34 years of age who became completely paralyzed, a quadriplegic, only able to turn her neck within a 24 hour period by a mysterious virus, etc. She was a gift to me. A witness of the sufficient grace of God.
Letter #1
Writing – because God has put it on my heart. Yes, ever since I was diagnosed with cancer, the Lord has me writing.
But for Sue, Al, and Jan, the Lord has me putting together for you, letters about your mom, Jenny, Oh girls, I write because your mom was one of the most beautiful women ever.
You see, people are caught up with outside appearances, and magazines are filled with pictures of beautiful women, but your mom was exceptional in beauty that matters. Beauty of the heart. God doesn’t look at the outside of a person, but at the heart.
I believe your mom was one of God’s most victorious treasures.
Life is filled with a lot of blessings as well as a lot of troubles, but God holds each of us in His Hands, through it all, the good and the bad. He’s always with us.
God’s word tells us so.
And what’s crazy about it all, is, it seems that we don’t even experience God’s hand , and don’t grow in discovering that we are actually held in His hand, until after we have been at our lowest, after times of great pain, after suffering, heartache and loss.
it’s then that we discover God’s hand holding us up. There’s no strength left on our own.
You and your family have gone through extreme trial. I’m sorry you girls have had to suffer so.
Your mother was exceptional. She continually gave her disappointments to God and took courage with the challenges she faced. She made the choice . . .
to surrender to His will in everything.
She couldn’t move. Nothing. Nada.
You girls were her life. She asked God to “get her out of bed everyday,” for each of you. She never gave up on God. Even when it seemed as if He wasn’t hearing her prayers.
He was faithful to lift her faith as if she had wings as eagles, by His Spirit. You witnessed it, I know you did. And I did too. So I write so we can remember, “now and again.” Your mom had faith that reached the heavens, believing God.
Not being able to do anything, because her body shut down on her, she did the best thing. Believing God, with excellence.
This woman was your mama.
It seems that after great pain, we are made ready to actually receive great joy. We witness this every time a newborn baby is born. And after sickness, we often times are made ready to become “healed” in so many areas in our lives, (even in some areas that we didn’t even know were sick).
Your mom suffered greatly, but drew closer and closer to God, and guess what? He drew closer and closer to her. So beautifully close, with sweet intimacy that your mom was ‘filled’ with His Spirit.
Exceedingly, abundantly.
Her very heart shined like Ps. 103: “Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, who heals all of your diseases, who redeems your life from destruction, who crowns you with lovingkindness and tendermercies; who satisfies your mouth with good things; so that your youth is renewed like the eagles…”
God became so close to your mom, that what I witnessed, was His sufficient grace, literally “made her bed.”
Your mom knew that many nurses would see her and feel sadfor her. But your mom had a prayerful heart and communed with God so much that she felt sad for them. For their heaviness of trial without faith.
She was thankful and in full expectation of God.
Your mom had the joy of the Lord. (In case you ever wondered what that looked like.) Don’t get me wrong, she told me about her struggles with doubt, but she knew where to run. Your mom couldn’t walk or stand, but she ran a marathon of faith as she trusted God, even without seeing results, and she continually hoped in Him.
Your mom’s cry was much like David’s in Ps. 62:1, “Truly my soul silently waits for God. From Him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be greatly moved.”
Yes, so much silence, so much waiting, and she couldn’t move and make things happen, but because God was her Rock, she was not ‘greatly moved.’ God met her and gave her His grace which is all sufficient, and she victoriously calmed and quieted herself much like David once again:
“My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvaiton; He is my defense; I shall not be moved.” Ps. 62:5,6.
So, I told your mom that I was writing a book called God’s Hand. That God had put on my heart to write and He confirmed it with His word: “write in a book for yourself the things I have shown you in My word, (Jer. 33:1). I have someone who encouraged the Bible journaling, and I have someone who encouraged the writing, but I told your mom, that she was the “feet” to move this to completion.
She would smile and say, “It will get written.”
Little did I know, that God would simply show me His treasure, your mom, and He would have me write her story.
The last hymn I sang with your mother was, “I Surrender All.”
Your mom had feet that couldn’t even wiggle, but she is the “feet” to my writing.
For almost 6 years, she was tried and tested in all things, with many cuts allowed to be made in this diamond. And shine, shine, shine she did with faith, hope, and love.
Your dear mom has gone home to be with her Lord. She was hoping that He would heal her so she could be here with you, but it was His will that she go to be with Him instead.
Oh, but she lives on, in each of you, and many others too. It was Nov. 9th, 2013. It was February of 2008, her body would not move, but Jenny let God mover her, every step of the way.
Now she dances in His presence.
I wrote quite a bit of our times with the Lord, your mother and me, so I would like to share them with you, in letters. For now and again, you can read one, to cry or take courage or just cuddle with.
Because in life, “it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish” that matters, and your mama, . . .she finished amazingly well.
Be blessed and filled with an abundance of comfort,
Toni Rypkema