Tag: repentance

Snapshots of Thankfulness to God through my doubts and confusion

I am thankful. Thankful to God, because He hears our cries for mercy.

But first, I must confess a snapshot of yesterday morning.

One of disappointment, confusion, stress, and unrest.

Yes, ultimately, I wasn’t disappointed about circumstances or people, (but, consciously, I might of thought myself to be), but because I truly believe the Lord is in control and that everything that happens is “filtered through the Father’s fingers,”

I need to be flat out honest here, in all reality, my anger and disappointment was toward God.

I believe in God. But yesterday morning, every ounce of my being was in warfare. I was fighting a battle in my mind, and my heart, I suppose, as I woke to face a challenging day.

Just do the next thing, words I remembered from Elisabeth Elliot came to mind, so I opened God’s Word,  in Psalm 34 in my rough state of being:

I will bless the Lord at all times;
His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
 My soul shall make its boast in the Lord; . . .

I couldn’t find a song. It’s as if it were lost. I felt I was dangling in an ocean’s depths with seaweed around my neck.

In this snapshot of  my moments of confusion and doubt, I felt as if trying to believe His word, but as in a dream, unable to reach the destination.

Trying to find some solid foundation,  but the seaweed of confusion had me sunk below the surface.

“I sought the LORD, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears, . . .” 
More like, ” I fought the LORD, and doubt had silenced my cry.”

I read on in Psalm 34, but I was unable to grasp anything to bring rest and peace to my heart.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good;
Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!

Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints!

There is no want to those who fear Him.
 The young lions lack and suffer hunger;

But those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing.

Because of circumstance, I was sinking in unbelief. I later sent texts for prayer.
I called a family member who knows me—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Prayers to our God were given.

The next snapshot of the day, is the struggle to breathe in and out through activity and interaction, minute by minute, hour after hour.  And, all the while, fighting inside to find the air of Peace, and Truth, and Comfort, and Joy.

Just do the next thing . . . this thought, my only motivation.
But, in hectic and schedule, I walked through a door. His hand picked me up. His arms took hold of my weak flesh. He turned my lack into abundance.
God did.
The very One whom I was disappointed in before.

God reached out and touched my sinking heart by hands from . . . the Church. 
The Snapshot: People pooled together in energy ignited by the Lord, (because He did hear my cries. God does hear our voice.)  Out of the ocean’s depths of sorrow, I was picked up in an instant.

Immediately, lifted from heaviness to light was I.

So, this morning I write. “Thank you God for Your faithful love and grace. And Thank you Lord for Your hands touching me through the Church. Dear Lord, help us remember and believe past our unbelief:

The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
And His ears are open to their cry . . .
 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, And delivers them out of all their troubles.

 The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
But the Lord delivers him out of them all,

I believe You dear Lord, and I thank You for Your Word, and the loving hands of Your Church.

I sought the Lord, and He heard me,
And delivered me from all my fears.
They looked to Him and were radiant,
And their faces were not ashamed. 

To Psalm 34, the Lord’s faithfulness, and the Love of the Church, I say this new morning, Amen.”

The Snapshot: Joy.

 

After great storm, a house on a rock stands firm.

Thanksgiving comes, with gatherings and planning. But for many, it’s a time where memories bring pain. Loss has occurred and the year has brought rain. Rains that came down hard, loss that has brought bleeding-heart pain.

An old story comes to mind about a house built on the rock. Who told the story? Why is it coming to mind?  Because the Holy Spirit lives in me, and He cares, and He’s kind. His job is to point me to Jesus, and . . .
remind.

So I looked it up in Google, for a quick concordance: “the story of the man who built his house on the rock.”

And it gave me the passage in Matthew Chapter 7.
The story is told by Jesus, Himself. From the Book that is worthy to pulled daily from the shelf:

 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 

 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall,

because it had its foundation on the rock. 

 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice

is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 

 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” Matthew 7:24-27. 

Now that the rains have hit heavily on “this house,” this old story has richness and  great hope in it’s meaning. But then I think, “what are these words of mine, that Jesus taught? So, hunger is there to read the entire Chapter Seven.

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  

How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?  

You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Jesus’ words spoken so long ago. How they have meaning and instruction for me, today, as I go. Matthew Chapter 7, is building material for us, that we might make the choice. Will it be sand, or the Rock?

All I know, building on the Rock is a daily choice. Not some little decision I made way back when with my strong, confident voice.

So, I read on, carefully, slow and steady, with a new understanding that the choice to build on the Rock is hard and heavy:

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?  If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”

I’m reminded today, of the Golden Rule. I didn’t know that building my house on the Rock includes this!

“Oh God, bless me, that I might hear and not make for myself excuses!”
Jesus speaks on instructing in Chapter Seven, that we might have good understanding of what is a Rock Foundation:

 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.  But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”

There is more. A rock foundation is important,  Jesus warns:

“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. 

 By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 

Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit,

but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 

 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit,

and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 

 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.

Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.”

We can inspect fruit. Yes, this is not judging, per-se. We may recognize fruit and the lack of it. This is important today.

 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven,

 but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 

 Many will say to me on that day,‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’

  Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’

Whoever builds their house on these words will go through rains, and storms and all. But God is a Foundation, steadfast and sure, and He will deliver us through it all. His Word is true. I will pray, and you?

“I need You Jesus. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. We trust in your Word. Lord make us ready. Today, tomorrow, every waking day, to not make the choice to build our house on the sand, but to do “hard things,” and hear You, and build our house on the Rock that will stand.”
Amen, and amen.

What news are we investing time in?

We see and hear the news. Have we honestly been deceived in believing the daily news is of more value than the inspired Word of the God, who Loves and created us all?
With intelligence in technology, and language, and medicine, and law – have we really come to believe we can “live life without God?”
In Literature, we understand the best story has great conflict. Did we forget there’s an enemy that’s out to destroy? Did we forget he hates everyone? Satan deceives the world that God is the “kill joy.” When he, himself is the killer of all joy.
Satan hates. Satan lies. And he’s deceived the world that God doesn’t care.
Our hearts and minds are naturally dark from the fall.
By page 3, in the Book, the Bible, by name – we can clearly see, that God didn’t bring the ruin we often give Him blame.  Where is the curiosity to “check it out for ourselves?” Do we really believe the modern “opinion” of what the Book’s all about.
Did we forget that all the words that flow through our brains is not truth. All the words we read are not fact. Satan hates. And He is in full attack!
The name of “Jesus” is an offense. “Whatever you do, don’t speak of His name.”
Can’t you see the smirk on Satan’s face, when in the name of “Jesus” Satan has to flee.
Run to the Word. Seek refuge in God. Yell at Him if you must. Tell Him your heart. God is big enough to take your pain and your anger.
He sent His Son. Your debt has been paid. Talk to Him about Jesus. Ask Him what it’s all about.
His word will bring healing to your heart.
When we turn in our disaster to His good and precious Word. When we seek Him in brokenness, He won’t turn away,
He hears . . .
He hears . . .
Are you seeking His face? He will pour down on you, His grace.
Satan hates for any to believe. If you get on your knees, he has to flee.
A Book in the Bible, Nehemiah by name, tells a story, that today many can relate. Nehemiah received news about the state of his homeland.
“Those who survived the exile . . . are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.” Nehemiah 1:3.
Turn and open the pages in the Book. Watch Nehemiah’s response, after receiving news of the day:
 “When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.”   Then I said:

“Lord, the God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and keep his commandments,  let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night for your servants, the people of Israel.” (Nehemiah 1:4-6).
Have we forgotten God is the creator of heaven, and is the great and awesome God?
Have we believed all the words of deception, of  “Big Bang” evolution – even though every day we see that through time all material things break down.
The 2nd Law of Thermodynamics – a universal law of decay. Yet book after book fill the libraries today that great systems evolved through eons of time.
Satan laughs through it all. He’s deceived God’s creation.
Back to Nehemiah, and his prayer. Could it be, that God will restore life and hope in the hearts of us all, if we simply open old, and sacred pages:
“I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father’s family, have committed against you.  We have acted very wickedly toward you. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws you gave your servant Moses.
“Remember the instruction you gave your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations,  but if you return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name.’” (Nehemiah 1:6-9).
Can we humble ourselves and admit “sin” anymore?
“O God, turn us around. Restore. Restore!”
What medicine ever “tastes” good and is “easy to take?” The remedy of “turning to God and admitting my wrong,” isn’t pleasant,
but that’s when the healing comes. Do hard things.
Can you and I admit that we’ve been unfaithful? That our hearts feel “scattered” and torn. Can you and I receive today, the promise in the return:
“but if you return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name.” (Nehemiah 1:9).
I pray for a return of the children of God. Let’s pray “Revival.” And believe in our hearts that with God’s “great strength and mighty hand,” He will “gather” His children back and restore.
That the News of God’s Holy Word would be the priority above all things.
“Today, Our Father in heaven, in Whom we pray, and in the name of Jesus, Whom You gave to save, I humble and pray and seek Your face. Will You wipe away all my sin and disgrace? I believe healing, salvation and an outpouring of Your amazing grace. A new creation today, I’ll be. Thank you for gathering me, and setting me free. in Jesus name, Amen.”
 
 
 
 

As the ducks go by, my vision came clear

The world is a whirlwind of motion and time. The needs are great. Energy is given.
Babies held. Toddlers taught. Children learn what’s right what’s not. Schools full. Businesses open. Roads busy. Food prepared, and food being eaten. Time ticks on.
Are our thoughts all our own?
The pond in the park by the big oak tree sings. The still waters speak to halt my reasoning. My heart is calmed, my pace is slowed, my vision is expanded, and my mind’s thoughts echo:
“Maybe I’m confused. It’s not all about me. Maybe what I think is actually hurting me.
And somehow in the park, when the ducks go by “quacking,” I come to the conclusion: I’m not the center.
The stress, the strife, the fast pace of life, halts as the sun’s reflection sparkles the water. The smells of fresh air, and birds chirping everywhere. All my senses come to life. There’s something special about this moment, this moment in time.
In an instant my vision is expanded to include, not just me, and my world. My woes and and my goals, but to think about God. The Creator of all.
That’s what I need. I need more of Him.
I need God. Bottom line. Period.
As I needed the still waters of this pond, to bring vision to my broken heart. I need God to bring alive what’s died. I can’t look back I must move on.
And suddenly I’m saddened. “I’ve been lied to. Been made to believe that with my own reasoning and actions, I can achieve. That the course is simply A then to B. Then each step of the way, it’s all mine. It’s up to me.”
Oh, the lies I believed.  The whirl of the world and it’s hum of pride: “Yes, there’s a God. He’s “love” and all that. But look at this world. Can you really believe He’s in control? Be reasonable. Use your mind. You must wear your own hat!”
And the sun hit the water and the breeze sang a song, and the duck went by slowly with his “quack, quack, quack.” And my heart stopped singing it’s sad, mourning song.
I looked up, and blocked the intense light of the afternoon sun just by lifting my tiny, wrinkly thumb. I decided right there, in that very moment of time, that the “thumb” of pride and unbelief was going to be set aside.
I was going to use my “reason” and remember my need. I need God. Right now, today. Front and center, no longer me, but He.
If God says He sent His Son to set me free, from myself and the rest of the ugliness, (as I learned as a child, and then unlearned by the world), then that will be my vision. “For God so loved the world that He gave …” who was I to change God – to be what my mind says.
“Jesus, can You see me? Today, I accept Your love. Somehow, as the ducks “quacked” in the still waters of this pond, my vision was changed.”
“You became my vision, and I remembered Your blood. It has washed me clean. But I forgot. I was taught by this world that I didn’t need washed.”
“Wash me again, and again. O God, I’m so sorry. Will You forgive me?”
So I went home and read Psalm 139 aloud, to be reminded again, that in fact, He is the center of all I see:
“O Lord, you have searched me [thoroughly] and have known me. 

You know when I sit down and when I rise up [my entire life, everything I do];
You understand my thought from afar.
You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And You are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
 
Even before there is a word on my tongue [still unspoken],
Behold, O Lord, You know it all.
You have enclosed me behind and before,
And [You have] placed Your hand upon me.
 
Such [infinite] knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is too high [above me], I cannot reach it.

Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in Sheol (the nether world, the place of the dead), behold, You are there.
 
If I take the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
 
Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will take hold of me.
 
If I say, “Surely the darkness will cover me,
And the night will be the only light around me,”

 
Even the darkness is not dark to You and conceals nothing from You,
But the night shines as bright as the day;
Darkness and light are alike to You.

 
For You formed my innermost parts;
You knit me [together] in my mother’s womb.
 
I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.

 
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was being formed in secret,
And intricately and skillfully formed [as if embroidered with many colors] in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were appointed for me,
When as yet there was not one of them [even taking shape]. 

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

If I could count them, they would outnumber the sand.
When I awake, I am still with You …

Search me [thoroughly], O God, and know my heart;
Test me and know my anxious thoughts;

And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.” Psalm 139, Amplified.

“Yes, Lord, You see me. Help me grow in You, each day, please.”

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Thoughts: "Oh, I know, I know…"

Are these your thoughts? “I know all the stories. I’ve heard it all before. I’m so bored with the church. And personally, I really need my rest.” These thoughts come in, (and God  does liken us as ‘sheep’), and we actually ‘believe’ these thoughts! They become our ‘truth!’
But God…Do you think of Him? You can’t see Him, but He’s there. He knows that men are imperfect! He knows that churches that even have sound doctrine and maintain to adhere to the word of God, the Bible, as their foundations, are imperfect! God knows all of this- but God, the Creator of heaven and earth, the worlds and all the universe, the One Who gives us each and every breath that we breathe, The One who faithfully provides us the sun to rise each morning and to set at the end of the day to give us rest…His thoughts… what are HIS THOUGHTS?  Do you remember, they are not like ours:
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Is. 55:8,9).
And He is so big, as you already ‘know’, but do you remember that it is also true:“…for the LORD searches all hearts and understands all the intent of the thoughts.” (1 Chronicles 28:9). Do you remember that when Adam and Eve ate the one and only forbidden fruit (in the midst of every other tree that was permissible), knowledgable now of their ‘nakedness’, that they thought to take care of it intelligently and industriously sewing itchy, uncomfortable coverings for themselves-But God didn’t wait for them to ‘think straight’, in fact, they were occupied in playing the ‘blame game’ when asked about their ‘fall’.(Gen. 3).
God knows our thoughts! God knows our ‘imperfectness’! God knows there is no help apart from Him. Do you remember what God did? OK, He told us the ‘curse’ that both the man and the woman would face, ‘the pain of childbirth’, the ‘sweat of the brow’ in work, and you ‘know all of this,’ (and best remember that this wasn’t God’s intention for man, this was the ‘fall of man’ NOT GOD!) HOWEVER, …
this isn’t just a story you’ve heard before, this is about you and me, today! We are His Adam, we are His Eve,(because we are all sons of Adam and Eve), and we try to ‘cover’ ourselves and all the ‘wrong’ with ‘itchy things’. Things that will never satisfy. Somehow, there’s always an ‘itch’ for MORE!
But God, “…for Adam and his wife the LORD God made tunics of skin, and clothed them.” (Gen 3:21). 
Please, Please, Please – STOP for ONE MINUTE and ‘LET GOD’ clothe you with His love. Do you ‘know’ that is what God desires? Do you remember His thoughts? “How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; …”(Ps. 139:17). 
OK, so you’ve ‘known’ this verse, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. ” (Jer. 29:11). But have you ‘thought’ to stop and let God clothe YOU with this truth? This is not just a verse that you ‘know’. Do you ‘believe it’ ? What are you thoughts?
Get alone with God. Wrestle with Him. Give Him your thoughts, and allow Him again to enter His truth in yours.
Remind yourself again the things ‘you know’: “Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” (Jer. 29:12).
Get alone with God. Wrestle with Him. Give Him your thoughts, and allow Him again to enter His truth in yours. You know that it is true: “Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you seems to be wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God…” (1 Cor. 3:18,19).
“But we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which God ordained before the ages for our glory, which none of the rulers of this age knew; for had they known, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory.”(1 Cor. 2:7).
Search out the mystery of Christ in God’s word and be clothed in God’s love and promises: “But as it is written: “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” (1 Cor. 2:9).
Take off the ‘ol itchy garments of a ‘self propelled’ life apart from God’s grace and love. As John the Baptist shouted in the ‘desert place’ so long ago. Listen to his words. Today – yes – all us ‘imperfect people’: Change direction! Confess your failures, guilt and sin! Let God clothe you. Receive the Lamb. And start ‘knowing’ over and over again the same old truths in a new light each and every day.
Lamb’s skin instead of ‘itchy leaves’…“For you shall go out with joy, and be led out with peace; The mountains and the hills Shall break forth into singing before you, and all the trees of the field shall clap their clap their hands. Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree, And instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree; And it shall be to the LORD for a name, For an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.” (Is. 55:12,13).
Did you know all that? Get right with God. Remember what you ‘knew’ “Jesus loves me! This I know…”
Oh, and yes, that old song that we all know all too well, clothe yourself with this: “Jesus loves me! Loves me still, Tho’ I’m very weak and ill; That i might from sin be free, Bled and died upon the tree…Jesus loves me! He will stay Close beside me all the way; Thou hast bled and died for me, I will hence-forth live for Thee…”

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