Tag: healing

In Brokenness, The Lord’s Prayer, a Hymn.

“Our Father in heaven, holy is Your name, . . .” May I come to You with pure motives.

So many times I don’t.

I come for myself. You already know.
May I draw near to seek Your holy face.

But God, our Holy Father, you see when I only seek Your hand of blessing, without a thought to give You praise.

My thoughts aren’t Your thoughts. My ways aren’t like Yours.

May I seek to worship now. Thank You for Your everlasting love. You see my heart, Your know my thoughts, You know . . .

I have failed to stop and remember, of what You’ve already done. You’ve carried the cross up that steep, rugged path. You willingly suffered nails in Your hands.

You loved me first. You love me last. You love beyond the farthest star in the Universe.

I am held in Love’s grasp.

I love You Jesus. I draw near to You. And You draw near because Your name is Faithful and True. Not because of anything about me. You died on the cross.
“Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, . . .” in this heart, right now. Cover me with the blood of Your Son.

You rose from the dead.

May I come to know the power of Your resurrection.

“Give us this day our daily bread. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
“Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us, . . .” from our natural ways.

All to Jesus, I surrender, all to Him I freely give, 
let me do whatever lies before me as if it were for You Lord.
For You Lord, may my work be my praise. May this hymn be my song, all of my days:

All to Jesus I surrender,
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live. 

I surrender all,
  I surrender all.
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
    I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender,
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now.

All to Jesus I surrender,
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel Thy Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine.

All to Jesus I surrender,
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power,
Let Thy blessing fall on me.

All to Jesus I surrender,
Now I feel the sacred flame.
Oh, the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory to His name!

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, Colossians 3:23.

May I praise with all that I do, today. In Jesus name, Amen.

He Still Changes Water to Wine


“Read the Bible.” We hear people say.
But even when opened, do the words feel dry on the page?

It’s OK. God must know, because the only thing He gets at times from me at best, is a moan.
But, in the end, I can still say, “Thank You Lord. Thank You Lord, for putting up with me. Oh God, I’m confused and feel alone. Will You help me?”

So, the Word seemed dry, not moving me at all, but my eye caught focus at the bottom of the page of a short Spurgeon poem:

“Lo, Moses scatters plagues of wrath, A ministry of fire and death, But our Immanuel cometh forth, with life and love in every breath.
He turned their water into blood, for vengeance was his dread design: But, thanks to our incarnate God, He turned our water into wine.” (1)

For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ. John 1:17.

Jesus is unlike all the rest.

Five minutes in devotion to God, with an opening of His word with a few Spurgeon thoughts, I am changed from a whine to hope.

Jesus still changes water to wine.

Water is necessary. Like food and roof over our heads. We have school, or work. We all are under some authority.

We move quickly, we plan out our day, and we grab a water bottle as we go our way.

Water sustains.

The Holy Spirit is likened as water in the Word.  It’s God’s Word that refreshes, the Holy Spirit directs us to be touched by Jesus. He changes us and gives us a song:

And when I think, that God His Son not sparing, sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in. That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died, to take away my sin. 

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee. How great Thou art. How great Thou art. Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee, How great Thou art,
How great Thou art.

Jesus still changes water into wine. For me, my whine to a song, that I might rejoice and experience His fullness of grace and truth, this day.
Let us celebrate today. We’re simply passing through. Let’s let others know about our eternal home:

When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation, and take me home, what joy shall fill my heart. Then I shall bow, in humble adoration, and then proclaim, 
“My God how great Thou art!” 

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee. How great Thou art. How great Thou art.
God is love. “Dear Lord give me understanding to know Your Name. Faithful and True, Merciful, Gracious, and Above all names:

“Lo, Moses scatters plagues of wrath, A ministry of fire and death, But our Immanuel cometh forth, with life and love in every breath.
He turned their water into blood, for vengeance was his dread design: But, thanks to our incarnate God, He turned our water into wine.”

Keep me singing dear Jesus, and drawing close to You that You might heal me and help me the entire day through:

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee. How great Thou art! How great Thou art. 

Poem taken from C.H. Spurgeon’s Devotional Bible. Hymn: How Great Thou Art.

New Year, New Directions, New Hopes, Old Foundations

If holiness is the music God hears and a broken heart the sacrifice He honors, let us turn aside our eyes each morning and be moved by the cross.

And each night in the coming year, let us give thanks and worship Him, Who faithfully and patiently watches and keeps, and never fails to zealously love us.

“Transform us Lord, these coming days, as we wholly desire to know You more, and more, and grow in Your grace to trust more fully in Your ways. This is my prayer me, Your Church, Your Bride—and for all who choose to draw near and abide.”
This is the closest thing to a New Year’s resolution.

I remember the first time the Lord put on my heart,

“You’re a worship leader.” It was many, many years ago when my second child was in a baby seat.
I thought I had an image of what a “worship leader” was to be, but God had plans way beyond my imagination.

Through the course of over 30 years, marriage, pregnancy, chronic laryngitis, children, teaching, serving, moving, sickness, and recovery, and the beauty of brokenness, God has shown me,

“Toni, to lead in worship is simple and true. Look to Me. Talk to Me. And Believe Me and My Word, through and through, no matter the rough terrain, the pain;

I wash all the stains.

Look to the cross, and lead others there—children, and hurting, and feeble, and doubting. Talk of Me and pray, I will strengthen and empower.

And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself, John 12:32. 

So, to begin a new year with old foundations laid, I set out to frame God’s Word, powerful and true:

Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth, Psalm 46:10.


Jesus. Old words, prayerful songs, I pray I will remember and consider the whole year long.
It seems easy, yet not—to let sound out on these words so sweet. The reality is, . . . these thoughts are difficult to speak,  in truth and honesty.

The Lord God Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, He knows my heart, He sees. He knows and understands the wrestling.

As a child, I want to open up my voice. Will you join me? Not reluctantly, but the best we can today, faith-fully:

“Open my eyes, Lord. I want to see Jesus. To reach out and touch You, And say that I love You. 
Open my ears, Lord, and help me to listen. Open my eyes, Lord, I want to see Jesus.
To mean these words, with all my heart, soul, and mind, I need help from Him, but I believe. Help me grow to believe more, . . .

In His time.
In His time.
He makes all things beautiful,
In His time.
Lord, please show me everyday,
As You’re teaching me Your way,
That You do just what You say
In Your time.
Lord, our lives to You we bring
May each song we have to sing
Be to You a lovely thing
In Your time.”
I never thought a worship leader could lead with a pen. But I hope and pray that I have put a song on your heart to sing to Him.
“Dear Lord, Open my, (our) ears, open my, (our) eyes, help me, (us) to trust that You will make all things beautiful, in Your time. In Jesus name, I, (we) pray, Amen.”

What news are we investing time in?

We see and hear the news. Have we honestly been deceived in believing the daily news is of more value than the inspired Word of the God, who Loves and created us all?
With intelligence in technology, and language, and medicine, and law – have we really come to believe we can “live life without God?”
In Literature, we understand the best story has great conflict. Did we forget there’s an enemy that’s out to destroy? Did we forget he hates everyone? Satan deceives the world that God is the “kill joy.” When he, himself is the killer of all joy.
Satan hates. Satan lies. And he’s deceived the world that God doesn’t care.
Our hearts and minds are naturally dark from the fall.
By page 3, in the Book, the Bible, by name – we can clearly see, that God didn’t bring the ruin we often give Him blame.  Where is the curiosity to “check it out for ourselves?” Do we really believe the modern “opinion” of what the Book’s all about.
Did we forget that all the words that flow through our brains is not truth. All the words we read are not fact. Satan hates. And He is in full attack!
The name of “Jesus” is an offense. “Whatever you do, don’t speak of His name.”
Can’t you see the smirk on Satan’s face, when in the name of “Jesus” Satan has to flee.
Run to the Word. Seek refuge in God. Yell at Him if you must. Tell Him your heart. God is big enough to take your pain and your anger.
He sent His Son. Your debt has been paid. Talk to Him about Jesus. Ask Him what it’s all about.
His word will bring healing to your heart.
When we turn in our disaster to His good and precious Word. When we seek Him in brokenness, He won’t turn away,
He hears . . .
He hears . . .
Are you seeking His face? He will pour down on you, His grace.
Satan hates for any to believe. If you get on your knees, he has to flee.
A Book in the Bible, Nehemiah by name, tells a story, that today many can relate. Nehemiah received news about the state of his homeland.
“Those who survived the exile . . . are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.” Nehemiah 1:3.
Turn and open the pages in the Book. Watch Nehemiah’s response, after receiving news of the day:
 “When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.”   Then I said:

“Lord, the God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and keep his commandments,  let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night for your servants, the people of Israel.” (Nehemiah 1:4-6).
Have we forgotten God is the creator of heaven, and is the great and awesome God?
Have we believed all the words of deception, of  “Big Bang” evolution – even though every day we see that through time all material things break down.
The 2nd Law of Thermodynamics – a universal law of decay. Yet book after book fill the libraries today that great systems evolved through eons of time.
Satan laughs through it all. He’s deceived God’s creation.
Back to Nehemiah, and his prayer. Could it be, that God will restore life and hope in the hearts of us all, if we simply open old, and sacred pages:
“I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father’s family, have committed against you.  We have acted very wickedly toward you. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws you gave your servant Moses.
“Remember the instruction you gave your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations,  but if you return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name.’” (Nehemiah 1:6-9).
Can we humble ourselves and admit “sin” anymore?
“O God, turn us around. Restore. Restore!”
What medicine ever “tastes” good and is “easy to take?” The remedy of “turning to God and admitting my wrong,” isn’t pleasant,
but that’s when the healing comes. Do hard things.
Can you and I admit that we’ve been unfaithful? That our hearts feel “scattered” and torn. Can you and I receive today, the promise in the return:
“but if you return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name.” (Nehemiah 1:9).
I pray for a return of the children of God. Let’s pray “Revival.” And believe in our hearts that with God’s “great strength and mighty hand,” He will “gather” His children back and restore.
That the News of God’s Holy Word would be the priority above all things.
“Today, Our Father in heaven, in Whom we pray, and in the name of Jesus, Whom You gave to save, I humble and pray and seek Your face. Will You wipe away all my sin and disgrace? I believe healing, salvation and an outpouring of Your amazing grace. A new creation today, I’ll be. Thank you for gathering me, and setting me free. in Jesus name, Amen.”
 
 
 
 

God Calls a Meeting

I wrote a piece yesterday for our Word Weaver’s (of Lexington) Meeting in the evening. I called it “A Child Can Teach Many Things.” After time with other writers and gentle critique, I share with you ideas in editing, so you might be encouraged to join us once a month that the words God has put on your heart would be written and shared. And God is in control of all that happens through the process.
God calls a meeting.
He’s tugging at my heart.
I’m hungry. I’m tired. My tapestry is unraveling.
I’m seeking, but not finding. There’s a Dead End again.
Where is this place of meeting? Does my heart yearn to go?
My thinking goes amiss. I think, “Before the meeting, I have to do this.”
“I have to get rid of that, but I can’t. I can’t. Or maybe, it’s more like, . . . I won’t.”
Is this how we think? Do we believe, “God doesn’t want to  meet with me, I’m way too lost. I’ve gone too far.”
God calls a meeting, time and time again. Do I continue to run the other way?
Do our minds spin out of control?
God saw me running. So He brought me a 3 year old. To simply watch and listen.
A child’s smile, the skip, the joy, the love. How we’re always changing, but some things never change.
As I was watching a child at play, it was like a first day of spring. It was like a sky with fun, puffy clouds.
I was running from God, so He brought me a child. So I could see with my eyes, something I knew of before. Of forgiveness and grace, gentleness, and noise. Of making a mess, but having a second chance – of two sides of a coin.
God called a meeting and I kept putting it off, until He brought a child in my view.
I heard the song coming from their heart during play, “A,B, C, D . . .” So accomplished and confident. So, I broke in and asked, “What’s your favorite song?”
She began to sing: “Jesus loves me . . .”
I watched a tender faith. I witnessed a confident trust. I knew these words. They were hidden deep down in my heart.
“Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so.”
My heart was pierced, that very moment. I forgot what was true.
I forgot what I knew.
As sheep often do.
I left from following the Shepherd. I thought I had to “plow on through.” By myself. On my own.
I became like the prodigal. Hungry, far. With pig slop for food. It was when that child sang,  “Jesus loves, . . . ” That I heard, “Remember Me.”
The child sang, “this I know . . .”
My thought, “No, I don’t know anymore.”
The Lord kept His appointment. He spoke:  “Remember Me.”
Gentle and kind. God used a little child to remind. To remind me it’s not “Do this.” “Don’t do that.”
Simply, “Jesus loves.”
How I forgot.
So, I turned around that moment. That moment was new. Because, in my heart, instead of my back, I turned to face the Lord. Inside my heart was bursting.
I held it all in, but, if I didn’t I would have a face filled with tears.
Immediately, . . .
I felt hope.
Out of a child’s praise, I remembered God’s amazing grace.
“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you, declares the Lord, . . .” Jeremiah 29:12-14. 

Did you see the Son rise today?

Perhaps your body hurts with too much pain.
Or your heart is broken, there’s so much strain.
The sadness has caused your eyes to close.
“Jesus loves me …” in this day, who knows?
The clouds are too thick. Is there a Son rise?
Forever, yes. And not as far as you think.
If you stop, and be still … and open your mind.
Put off the doubt, and a young child do find.
If you are able, sit with a youngster or just watch, the wiggles and squeals for a short while or else:  think back of a sweet memory as far back as you can, and sit in the warmth, to cheer up your soul.
Make thinking ‘on good’ be your new style. Sacrifice some time to offer to God a thankful heart for awhile.
Put off the dark colors for a minute and see, the light, the blues and yellows and pink. The Lord will cover you in His tenderness and get you through the  moments of great sadness.
Sacrifice thanksgiving, even though clouds still hang from the sky, somehow, miraculously,
you see the sun rise.
“He, (Jesus) said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”  Mark 10:13-15.
Can you see you are His child in His arms? He desires to touch and bless you, even now,
even today,
with His love charms of hope and grace always.
 “And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.” Mark 10: 16.
Let us make a ‘Thank offering.’ Oh how beautiful the Son is to our eyes.
“…Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” Matthew 6:9-13.
 

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