“Rejoice in the Lord always. Again, I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men,” (people). “The Lord is at hand” Philippians 4:4,5.
Today.
Yesterday.
Moving forward.
I can take joy in the Lord. I can’t always have joy in my circumstances, the weather, my location, or my past, but I can always take joy in the Lord.
He alone is good.
He’s holy. Perfect in all His ways. He’s the lover of our souls. Patient, gracious, slow to anger, kind. The Lord God Almighty.
He’s completely trustworthy, yet at times, hard for me to trust. If it wasn’t for His Word, my thoughts would believe He’s the opposite of all He is.
He allows great trial, confusion, pain.
Do I believe Him when everything falls apart?
His Word tells me He knows my name. Do I believe this in the moments when I can barely remember my own?
He hears the worries I have, my cries, my tears.
But doubt sometimes floods my being to bring me down as a sickness.
My faith fails, (past, present, and future), yet God remains faithful and true. No matter what.
“You’ve got cancer.”
My diagnosis, not someone else. This was trial number three, not one.
I lost faith, became afraid, yet in the fight, my sister told me, “Toni, the people who keep faith do best.”
Where else could I go? I looked to the Lord.
He helped me through my failures and gave me the strength to trust Him, (one day at a time) with eleven healthy, full-term births, and four miscarriages along the way.
The Lord upheld my marriage, year after year for better, worse, sickness, health, richer, and poorer.
The trials opened my eyes to the presence of the Lord, His keeping power and grace. Only one set of footprints could be found in the sand. Jesus carried me with compassion, grace, and love that bore all my “stuff.”
He brought “prayer warriors,” from all over the map. Food, gifts for the kids, desserts, cards, phone calls . . . the Lord was a present help. He was with me. He brought family, friends, songs, hymns, His Word.
I put all my eggs in one basket. The Jesus basket.
Cancer opened my eyes to many failures and sicknesses in my heart. When we pray prayers like, “Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting,” you better believe, God will answer. (Psalm 139:23,24).
Cancer gave me more than it took away, it gave me an increased faith in the true and living God.
After my third chemo treatment, I came home feeling very sick. The sickness was to begin in a day and a half, not an hour and a half. The kids were spending time with a neighbor.
Laying down on the couch, eyes closed, I felt death in my bone marrow.
My body was rocked hard with the chemo. It wasn’t used to anything meds, ever. Not even for childbirth! But, fighting cancer, . . . I did the chemo.
Did they give me too much Adriamycin?
Shouldn’t I be seeing lights? It’s so dark. I thought I was going to die. Darkness was there, but then . . .
I had a vision. (I know you’ll think I’m crazy,) but a door opened in the darkness and light came through.
Two, healed, but nail-pierced hands stretched out of the open door. Then words (which I had read thousands of times from my favorite children’s book by Glen Keane), came to mind:
“Not all know Me as their King.”
That was it.
This was huge!
I had the assurance I was to live. But even more.
The Lord enlisted me in His army. He gave me work to do.
Weeks later, when I was strong enough to return to church, a guest Missionary pastor highlighted on the screen a verse from Philippians 1:25,26.
“And being confident of this, I know that I shall remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy of faith, that your rejoicing for me may be more abundant in Jesus Christ . . . “
Again, the Lord was speaking, “Toni, you’re going to make it through this horrible sickness and multiple trials, but you will now share joy and faith in My name with others.”
Yes, “Rejoice in the Lord, and again I will say, rejoice!”
I will never be ashamed to share the Good News of the One who has saved my life for salvation and every continuing day on this thorny earth.
While I have my being, I’m living for Jesus. He’s the only One Who truly, completely, perfectly Loves. (Period).
Jesus loves me, you, every human being on this planet. We all need Him.
This is not a religion. This is life, hope, peace, and love. This is what the world needs . . .
Do you know Jesus as your King? Perhaps the time is now.
