It was a day of great sickness after chemo. I opened a hymnal on my bookshelf. It opened to Be Still My Soul by Kathrina von Schlegel.
In a horrible physical and emotional state, the words jumped off the page for me. Just for me. I felt the Lord unveil these words personally, to me. . .
Be Still my Soul. The Lord is on thy side . . .
After great trials and this physical pain, I honestly forgot, that the Lord I believed in and asked to come in my life, was “on my side.”
I struggled in my faith. But the hymn:
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain
Actively reading this phrase, I understood immediately, the Lord could see it all. Faith ignited in a second through the reading, (not even the singing) of this hymn.
(Quite honestly, I had no idea the melody. Old hymns weren’t regularly played at my contemporary Bible-teaching church.)
I read more:
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heav’nly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.”
And when you fight a cancer battle, it does come into the mind, “Am I going to make it?”
God knew I was asking and God answered me through a phone call, (though I will confess, God showed me other glimpses of my healing along the way until I finally believed completely).
A young 13-year old, Landon, (whom I had spent some moments with to get started playing his guitar), learned I was sick with breast cancer.
He not only prayed for me, but he sought the Lord in His Bible for answers and hope.
Landon called me, on August 23rd, 2010.
I didn’t hear the call. It went to voice-mail. I’m so glad it did. I replayed it over and over again. Here is the voice mail I saved:
“Hello Ms. Toni, this is Landon. I just wanted to read you some scriptures that the Lord gave to me for you. It is from Psalm 18:
“I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies . . .
He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from the powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the LORD was my support . . .
As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.
For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect . . .
He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
You give me Your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me;
I pursued my enemies and overtook them; I did not turn back till they were destroyed. I crushed them so that they could not rise; they fell beneath my feet.
You armed me with strength for the battle; you made my adversaries bow at my feet. You made my enemies turn their back in flight, and I destroyed my foes.
They cried for help, but there was no one to save them- to the LORD, but he did not answer…
The LORD lives! Praise be to my Rock! Exalted be God my Savior!”
Yes, Landon read his Bible to me on the phone and he left this message.
“You made my enemies turn their back in flight, and I destroyed my foes . . . ” This was amazing.
The precious phone message, Psalm 18, and the hymn Be Still My Soul mean so much to me.
I share what I put down those many years ago as music therapy for myself in my cancer battle. I hope it brings peace and rest of mind for someone as they draw near to Jesus.
He promises to draw near: For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” Romans 10:13.
Please feel free to share this with any friends or family unable to sleep or rest during a physical or emotional challenge. Thanks – toniryp
2 Be still, my soul; your God will undertake
to guide the future as he has the past;
your hope, your confidence, let nothing shake;
all now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
his voice who ruled them while he lived below.
4 Be still, my soul; the hour is hast’ning on
when we shall be forever with the Lord,
when disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still my soul; when change and tears are past,
all safe and blessed we shall meet at last.
Source: Christian Worship: Hymnal #847
Loved this so much, Toni! What a precious child, Landon, is!! And what a God thing it is to have had his message on your phone. Great things often come out of cancer experiences, and we both know this, my friend.
Tanya Hudson (Addy’s grandmother)