August 9, 2010. On this date, I knew there was a very large lump on my right breast, but I didn’t know what it was at this time.
I was keeping a Bible Journal at the time. Apparently I was in John 2:
On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Now both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. And when they ran out of wine, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.”
That was a crisis for this wedding feast. And I was in “crisis” as well.
Jesus said her,”Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not come.”
His mother said to the servants, “Whatever He says to you, do it.”John 2:4.
In my journal writing I wrote, “Can God be showing me what to do in my crisis?”
I wrote so many years ago, (7 years to be exact):
There were 6 water pots of stone about twenty or thirty gallons apiece. Jesus said to them, “Fill the water pots with water.”
Today feeling very empty and confused, He said, “fill the water pots with water.” Water in the Bible symbolizes the Holy Spirit. And at the wedding they ran out of wine and He said, “Fill the pots with water.”
My very first thought is, the Holy Spirit. I need to be filled with the Holy Spirit!
So, on that day, many years ago, God was showing me personally, intimately what I, Toni, needed to do to get through that day, and the days I didn’t even know were to come, (which included a cancer diagnosis, many doctor and surgeon visits, then chemo, surgery, hormone therapy, etc., etc.
The words of Mary ring so loud to me, “Whatever He says to you, do it.”
“Fill the pots with water.”
That’s what He said.
I knew I needed counsel. He answered me, “Fill your clay vessel with water.”
So, I went to the word about the Holy Spirit:
And not be drunk with wine which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the LORD, giving thanks always…,” Eph. 5:18.
Little did I know, but for me, to help me through and keep me standing on the Rock, to keep faith through all the chemo and chemicals, I would be turning the pages of Then Sings My Soul, by Robert Morgan.
Speaking the words of the hymns, and singing them as I learned them, I was transformed, from fear to courage.
I was continually being transformed- from fear to courage!
So today, a lot has changed. I am healthy and strong. But what’s amazing is the remedy for my crisis today still remains:
“Whatever He says to do, do it.”
Dear Lord, teach me to seek Your face and hear Your voice as I open your word to hear what You say.” In Jesus Name.
Amen.