the Master Artist IS at work, we just only see the back-side of the tapestry right now…
Words? God's Word IS life. Robin shared with me…
The written word is one thing, God’s Word is a whole other thing entirely.
The written word can be persuasive, whether it’s truth or a lie.The written word can be a good thing, and it can be a bad thing as well. The written word can bring direction, entertainment, encouragement, and color to life here on earth, however, God’s Word IS Life. God’s Word IS Truth. There is a difference between just words, and God’s inspired Word, the Bible. God’s Word births life in a being that was…well, naturally alive, but not ‘living’.
How do I know? I give you two examples. The first, is when I had 5 small children, with the infant being ‘colic’ and crying endlessly leaving me with large amounts of ‘stress’ to say the least, I opened the Word of God and read: “This is my comfort in my affliction, For Your Word has given me life.” I have written before how I asked myself, halfway through, before finishing the verse, “What is the comfort in my affliction?” “What does the Word say?”
It doesn’t say, “This is my comfort in my affliction, in that God takes it away.” And it doesn’t say, “This is the comfort in my affliction that God lets me see the answers.” No, it doesn’t say that either.
The Word of God says, in my own summary: “This is the comfort in my affliction- God’s Word is life.”
It was then, that God began to ‘touch me’ as a Great Physician, probing and prodding in and through me, bringing ‘breath’ to my ‘out-of-breath’ life! You see, it’s ongoing. It’s not a one-time thing, it’s day by day, ‘this is the comfort in your affliction, God’s Word is life!’ But God also gave me ‘witnesses’ to His glory. Next,I will share one such witness.
I knew a young woman at the time, a mother of 4, she loved the Lord, home-taught her kids, and (she was a mentor to me).(Yes, Robin, for those who were wondering!) Well, all did not go well with her. She got cancer, then it spread to her lungs, then she didn’t get better, she only got worse-she could barely breathe, she needed oxygen… HOW CAN THIS BE? What’s wrong with this picture? A young woman with children, living for the Lord, and He allows her to get cancer? Everyone had questions…everyone except Robin, that is.
I remember her words from many years back, she said, “Toni, I know what is going on. I understand the whole thing.”
She didn’t pull out some great understanding that she had thought up in her own head, NO- she opened her Bible and began reading aloud! My friend, and mentor, who could barely breathe, started using all of her energy, to read to me! I came to visit, to be a blessing of some-sort, but this woman, (who we didn’t know on that day, only had two weeks to live), read aloud to me from her Bible. The Words took all the mystery away for her! The Words were life and she passionately wanted to share them with me.
How can I ever forget that? I write about this, and remember this often, because, there was no mystery for Robin! God had revealed everything to her, and it meant everything to her that she share it with me. Breath for her was a very difficult thing, yet at this moment in time, she took her breath and spoke His Word of life. It was as if I was enveloped for a small amount of time in the Kingdom of God and the power of the word that went out through this weak voice as she read was indescribable!
Do you want to hear the Word of life that came from Robin on this unforgettable day? A woman that had had some rough days, and bad news, and trials extreme? She read the whole of chapter 4 in 2 Corinthians, but I am only going to give you a sample at this time. Robin opened her Bible and read, “…as we have received mercy, we do not lose heart.”
But you might be thinking, God didn’t answer those prayers for healing, how can that be mercy? Robin took a breath and spoke His word and told me, “I understand everything.” She understood His great mercy and love, and she had received it. So she did not lose heart, instead she turned around to give to me these words of ‘life’, so that I would not ‘lose heart’.
And Robin kept reading:
“For we do not preach ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord, and ourselves your bondservants for Jesus’ sake. For it is God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. (2 Corinthians 4:6).”
What a contrast, “For it is God who commanded light to shine out of darkness”, in that Robin was so weak and so sick, yet, “who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ” – is what she set out to do! How could I forget these words? They weren’t words at all, they were all that was going on in that very moment. This was ‘life’ happening in me, from a woman who was a ‘bondservant’ to Jesus sent to suffer ‘darkness’ so that God’s light could shine through her and give God glory. Not just for that day, but for even now and all eternity. And she understood and had peace! I witnessed this and tell you today, many years later.
Robin is an inspiration to me even today. She encouraged me in the ‘light of the life’ in God’s word because she had understanding and ‘knowledge’ of the glory of God, and soon to see the face of her Jesus, she explained it all to me:
“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed-always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.” (2 Corinthians 4 8-10).
God’s word brought life into her sick and tired spirit reminding her, yes, Jesus died, but He rose again, and she would too!
“…Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:16,17).
You see, these Words are more than words. They are rich, and ‘past finding out’, they are life and light, they are treasure. We have trials today and worries, but the Bread of Life, the Word that is for yesterday, today and forever reminds us that the things which we see with our eyes everyday, the rent, the clothes, the food, the jobs- we can see all that, it’s just temporary, but the things which are not seen, like God,and His angels, and many of the special family members or friends, who are no longer here on this earth, they are eternally living – living with Jesus in heaven.
So Robin sat with me on that day, to give to me, not the other way around. She gave me what was life to her at that particular moment. She read from God’s Book, His Holy Word. They were the words that gave life to her. And she lives on in my life and many others, along with many of the saints that lived for Christ, but were taken home.
God was shining His light of truth through her darkness of sickness. And she read on, do you have ears to hear these words today? She did, even after great suffering:
“Therefore we make it our aim, whether present or absent, to be well pleasing to Him.For we must all appear before the judgement seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad. Knowing, therefore, the terror of the Lord, we persuade men; but we are well known to God…”(2 Corinthians 5:9,10,11).
God’s light shone through darkness that day in incredible ways and His word, brings life, and that is what I write about. There are T-shirts that say ‘Life if good’, well, the life that we can see with our eyes is not always good, but the life that we can’t see that is hidden with Christ in God – now, THAT is good! God’s Word will help us see it every time!
Thank you Robin. Forever you inspire me, and many others,to live a life that is ‘pleasing to Him’. You are absent from us, but we rejoice because you are present with the Lord! Until we meet again…
Perhaps the remedy is a 'change of garments…'
Perhaps the remedy is a ‘change of garments.’ The Bible teaches that there is a ‘garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness’.(Is. 61:3). Who feels a ‘heaviness of spirit?’ Do you? Even though you have a lot to be thankful for, you still have a heaviness that seems to be carried around.
We are ‘heavy in heart’, and we don’t even know why.Even in our own country, one of the most loved comedian-actors of this day, ended his life. How can that be? Could it just be this day that we live in? He probably had the best doctors you could find, but they didn’t have the ‘remedy’ to keep him whole.
I’ve been through cancer. I know people who listened ONLY to their doctors, and they are no longer with us. I know people who didn’t listen to anything the doctor said, and only did the alternative and they are battling the disease again; but I know those who are sick and listen to the doctors, and some perhaps go an alternate route,and that might help for a time, but still there will come an end. But there are some who also have a Great Physician as well, and they listen to Him completely, and, His remedy promises to heal the ‘whole’ of all that we are.
When I read the Psalms of David in the Bible, I see a man who would have easily been labeled ‘unstable’ on many an occasion.“Save me, O God; for the waters are come up to my neck – they threaten my life. I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, where the floods overwhelm me.” Psalm 69:1-2.Amplified.
I think the important part for us all to realize, is…
we all are ‘unstable’ because we are trying to live complete lives without the ‘Completer of Life!’.
But David, continues in his Psalm and gives us a glimpse of “I am weary with my crying; my throat is parched; my eyes fail with (hopefully) waiting for my God.”(Psalm 69:3).
To be ‘whole’, is more than just the mind,( or our process of thinking, our will-power) and it’s more than just the body,(our physical mechanics), it involves our spirit as well. Some of us need the medication; there is a place for that at times, but that is not the ‘whole of the healing’, it is quite evident. There is a spirit in us all, and because we have packed away hurts, and dwell on doubts, and become overwhelmed and paralyzed by fear – it doesn’t matter what the doctor prescribes, his remedies are not the ‘cure all’!
But there is a Healer. But He doesn’t promise a ‘once and for all’ kind of healing. No. He says, “Follow Me.” His healing is more ‘liquid’, it flows from moment to moment; He is the breath which breathes in and out and brings Life, continuous and never ending. You see, He, the Healer, The Great Physician,He uses words – but they are more than words – they are power, they are supernatural, that are living and active and transforming. He tells us to ‘think on these things, His word, that is.
‘Take your vitamins, take your medicine if prescribed, but chew on this as you walk on; The Healer speaks:
“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me; because the LORD has anointed me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent me to heal the broken hearted, TO proclaim liberty to the captives, And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;..”(Is. 61:1). And there are more words, He also says:
“To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, And the day of vengeance of our God; To comfort all who mourn, To console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness…”(Is. 61:3).
And we can watch David in his distress, cry out to God, “Rescue me out of the mire, and let me not sink; let me be delivered from those who hate me and from out of the deep waters. Let not the flood waters overflow and overwhelm me, neither let the deep swallow me up…” (Ps. 69:14). But we can witness ‘a change of garments’ even in his example. He puts on a ‘garment of praise’ and hope in God:
“But as for me, my prayer is to You, O Lord. At an acceptable and opportune time, O God, in the multitude of Your mercy and the abundance of Your loving-kindness hear me; and in the truth and faithfulness of Your salvation answer me.” (Psalm 69:13).”…I am poor and sorrowful, and in pain. Let Your salvation, O God, set me up on high. I will praise the name of God with a song, and will magnify Him with thanksgiving.”
Perhaps all of this ‘trouble’ has brought about an ‘acceptable’ time! And acceptable time to be ‘whole’ in seeking the Lord! God sees the multitude, and He knows all that’s going on inside. “And He opened up His mouth, and taught them, saying, “Blessed – happy, to be envied and spiritually prosperous [that is with life-joy and satisfaction with God’s favor and salvation, regardless of their outward condition]-are the poor in spirit, (the humble, rating themselves insignificant), for theirs is the kingdom of heaven! (Matthew 5:3).
God tells us that ‘Blessed are the poor in spirit!’
Could it be, that the ‘acceptable time’ for the Lord is now, but not just a ‘once and for all’ pill or ‘fix-it drug’. No, perhaps the acceptable time for healing is now, flowing like a river kind of healing, where in the process we see a transformation occur where our ‘mourning is comforted’ with an ‘oil of joy’, where we see the ashes changed to ‘beauty’, and we take off those old clothes of despair and fear and heaviness and we courageously accept,
in this acceptable time, to put on a ‘garment of praise’! “For the Lord hears the poor and needy, and despises not His prisoners [His miserable and wounded ones]. Let Heaven and earth praise Him…!” (Psalm 69: 33,34).
This doesn’t mean we have to go skipping singing a ‘happy song’ all the day, no, this simply means that being ‘poor in spirit’, we see our need for God, and we praise Him because He is so big, and we are not, and He loves us, even in our disfunction, our anxieties, and fright, and He begins a transforming work as we leave our ‘heavy garments’ at His feet, over and over again, and in turn choose to put on garments of praise, continuously. Not just a ‘putting on’, but a ‘keep putting on’, …kind of like a river, it just flows!
Your children Lord are under attack…
This is a time to pray. This is a time to be somber…and pray. This is a time to be “asking, and seeking, and knocking.” “Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Your name…”
“Father, Your children are under attack!”
How do we pray at times like these. There are no words, only cries for ‘mercy’ and multiplied measures of ‘grace’ Lord.
Your Word is true, and Jesus, You Yourself have said, “So I say to you ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” Luke 11:9.
And Lord, You even go on to say, “For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” (Luke 11:10).
Lord, the children, young and yes, old as well, are facing enemies. They fear for their lives. God, we are ‘knocking on Your door’,we are seeking Your face, we are asking for ‘protection and mercy’, we pray for provision and ‘deliverance’ from the enemy!
The church, which are the children, young and old who believe on Your name, the sheep under the Good Shepherd pray for the lambs who are scattered throughout this world. We, the sheep of the Good Shepherd are gathering together, in prayer. “O Lord, Your word comes to mind, when we think of sheep that are scattered that then in turn become ‘food for all the beasts of the field, as Ezekiel prophesied: “So they…” (the sheep of Israel, or in other words, the children of the Most High God), were scattered… and they became food for all the beasts of the field when they were scattered. “My sheep wandered through all the mountains, and on every high hill; yes, My flock was scattered over the whole face of the earth…(Ezekiel 34:6.)
It seems there is no arm to save, Lord, except Yours. And Your word brings comfort Lord, for You have said Yourself:
‘For thus says the Lord GOD: “Indeed I Myself will search for My sheep and seek them out. “As a shepherd seeks out his flock on the day he is among his scattered sheep, so will seek out My sheep and deliver them from all the places where they were scattered on a cloudy and dark day.” (Ezekiel 34:11,12).
“Lord, like never before, (or perhaps during World War II), this is a ‘cloudy and dark day’. Your children, the sheep of the good Shepherd all calling out to You on behalf of Your scattered lambs.” We seek in Your word, and we find comfort, because You, Yourself have said:
“And I will bring them out from the peoples and gather them from the countries, and will bring them to their own land; I will feed them on the mountains of Israel, in the valleys and in all the inhabited places of the country.” (Ezekiel 34:13). Lord, just as You did this for the ‘children of Israel’ in the 1940’s , Your word is alive for us today as well. We remind You of You of Your word, just as Moses did when he interceded for the ‘children of Israel’.
We intercede! Your word has said to us, “I will feed them in good pasture, and their fold shall be on the high mountains of Israel. There they shall lie down in a good fold and feed in rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. I will feed My flock, and I will make them lie down,” says the Lord GOD.” (Ezekiel 34:14).
What can we do Lord, but read Your word for today and pray, and remind You of the things we have read: “I will seek what was lost and bring back what was driven away, bind up the broken and strengthen what was sick;
but I will destroy the fat and the strong, and feed them in judgement.”(Ez. 34:16).
God, Your word, Your word speaks to us today, we trust and rely on and rest on Your promises to Your children, to Your flock:
“And as for you, O My flock, thus says the Lord GOD: “Behold, I shall judge between the sheep and sheep, between the rams and goats.” (Ez. 34:17)… “I will save my flock, and they shall no longer be a prey; … and I will establish on shepherd over them, and he shall feed them – My servant David. He shall feed them and be their shepherd.” (Ez. 34:23).
Lord, you are gathering Your sheep, all across the world to pray. To You, our One true Shepherd. We are ‘asking’ we are ‘seeking’, and we are ‘knocking’. We hear Your voice as it speaks in Your word, and it may be for the children of Isreal, but it is for us, Your children. We hear Your word and it comforts in our time of tribulation. It is a present help to hear Your word:
“And I, the LORD will be their God, and My servant David a prince among them; I the LORD, have spoken.”(Ezekiel 34:24). And today, as the sheep search and knock, there is no other name, than Your Servant David, the Lord Jesus Christ. He is our peace. He has broken down every wall. Your word is our comfort, Your word:
“I will make a covenant of peace with them, and cause wild beasts to cease from the land; and they will dwell safely in the wilderness and sleep in the woods. I will make them and the places all around My hill a blessing; and I will cause showers to come down in their season, these shall be showers of blessing.” (Ez. 34:26).
“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside the still waters.He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name sake. Yea, though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil,
for You are with me.
Your rod and Your staff they comfort me…” Ps. 23. Lord, Your rod and Your staff, the words from the page become life and breath and hope.
We trust in You. We pray and wait: “And they shall no longer be a prey for the nations, nor shall beasts of the land devour them; but they shall dwell safely, and no one shall make them afraid.” (Ez. 34:28).
Thank You Lord for hearing our prayers, and thank You for answering them as well. We wait on You…’and no one shall make them afraid.’ “Thus they shall know that I, the LORD their God, am with them, and that they, the house of Israel, are My people,” says the Lord GOD.'” (Ez. 34:30). (!) Exclamation point, mine.
Lord, together, Your flock around the world pray, In Jesus name,
and we all say together, AMEN.”
If I only had one more day to live…
My kids sometimes get upset with me because I think about heaven a lot, and I receive great amounts of joy being with those who are so close to being in the presence of our King, encouraging them in the Word of Life and Truth and singing songs that actually make us feel like we’re in heaven already—
where the streets are gold even though we’re still on this dusty soil. But, if I only had one more day to live,…
I would write a letter. Well, I would do more than that, of course, if I could – like give hugs and cry and say I love you over and over again, but I wouldn’t say “good-by. ‘
I think “See you soon!” would work better.
I would also write a letter. I would try to keep it very short and simple, yet in hopes to be long lasting and complex all at the same time.
And my letter would be for all the kids.
Yes, my kids and so many more.
My letter is for the children, even the ones that are in their 80’s. And it would say, “Turn to Jesus, now- today, every minute – because all the things in life that you are searching for…they’re all found in Him. I’m not just saying that, I’m telling the truth: They’re ALL found in Him!
Yes, continue with getting up and getting ready for school or work or nurturing young ones. Get in the car, or grab that subway, and that fast meal on the go . . .
but, don’t go it alone anymore.
Open your eyes, and perhaps “turn around” and discover, you’ve got a Friend.
One who sticks closer than a brother. He goes with you, in the high and the low, “and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age,”
Jesus says this in Matthew 28:20.
But, I have to tell you, only because I’ve learned the hard way, that if you get going a bit too fast or even seem to be going in the wrong direction, He might “make you to lie down.”
Oh, yes, but please, listen to this: He makes you lie down, and it’s on green pastures.
If I only had one more day to live, I would want to remind the children that if He makes you lie down, it’s on “pastures of green.”
And He really does lead “beside still waters”.
Trust me, I know. Do you think I would waste words? No, if I only had one more day to live, I would only write the ones that really matter.
You might not believe me though, even though I only had one more day to live. You might think, “No, I need a lot more than Jesus.”
Well, do you need a Friend? Do you need some work? We all need friends, and we all need work. Well, He speaks words like no other friend:
“You did not choose Me, I chose you. And I gave you this work, to go and produce fruit,” (most likely, He’s talking about the fruit of love, you know — joy and peace, patience and kindness, goodness and gentleness, faithfulness and, last but not least, self-control.)
You can still show up in your kitchen, or your garage, or your classroom or your work space or the common living space and do that, right?
“You don’t know my situation,”
you might be saying,
or,”I can’t have ‘joy’ while this is going on.
And there is no “peace.”
Perhaps you’re arguing, “There’s no way I can be “gentle” with this impossible person in my life. That’s asking way too much.”
Of course it’s too much. But what’s impossible with man is possible with God.
That’s why we need to turn to Jesus.
He is all those things. He can touch your life and change you from the inside out! If I only had one more day to live, I would sing you a song you probably learned when you were two: “My God is so great, so strong and so mighty, there’s Nothing my God cannot do, for you!”
Yes, you see, Jesus, the One we should turn to because everything we need is found in Him, He said, “You did not choose Me, I chose you… I want you to produce fruit that will last.” Hey, so even if you haven’t chosen Him yet, please know – He’s chosen you. And when you finally DO choose Him, He says, “Then the Father will give you anything you ask for in my name. This is my command: Love one another.” John 15:16-17.
Do you need provision? Have you asked Jesus? He might not answer the exact way you want, but I can tell you, because if this was my last day on this earth, I would want you to know, that for that day, that specific moment in time – not two weeks ahead or on the 2-5year plan- but for this moment in time, whatever the need is, when you seek Him…He gives you grace sufficient! He does. He pours grace out and even multiplied at times, the same way you pour lemonade from a pitcher into a glass. Yes, the lemons of life, suddenly are mixed with the water of the Spirit of God and the sweet love of Jesus just gets you through that moment in time.
I know. He’s shown me all of this and more. If I only had one more day to live on this earth, I would want the children, young and old to know that He is faithful. He is a friend, He is a very present help in times of trouble, He’s PRESENT – now, here, this moment and the next. He loves.
‘Turn to Jesus’. what does that mean?
It means, talk to the One who is right by your side, right this very minute and knows everything about you, even the number of hairs you had yesterday, and grow in your relationship with Him! Read His Songs in the Psalms and His promises in Isaiah and Jeremiah, and watch Him in action in the Gospels-spend time with the One who LOVES YOU MOST!Get the whole of history in His Story! And spend some time with others that are on this ‘treasure hunt’. You will discover the most amazing treasures!
You will discover that everything you need IS found in Him, moment by moment, step by step. And one more thing,…you will find something you haven’t had for quite some time, because in following Him -instead of leading the way-you have a good view of Him, and having a good view of Jesus, you will have peace.
Isn’t that what you wanted in the first place? You will have a peace that doesn’t make sense, even though all the circumstances may stay the same. And when your heart has peace, something else returns that you might have been missing. Joy.
You will be so happy. And so will everyone else that is around you, each and every minute of each and every day!
So, let’s live this day, as if…it were our last!
( I write this 4 years after being diagnosed with cancer. As a survivor, I choose to…follow Jesus. It would bless me so much to know that perhaps my life, that God is allowing me to have today, could draw you to the One who loves you most! much love in Him, Toni Rypkema)
What made them 'turn around?'
Jesus Himself drew near two men traveling to Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem. It was the third day after traumatic events happened in Jerusalem. And they were talking about the events.
“What kind of conversation is this that you have with one another as you walk and are sad?” Jesus asked them in Luke 24:17.
Well, the Bible lets us know the name of one of the men, Cleopas,however, it also informs us that their eyes were restrained, so that they did not know Him. Cleopas then goes on to ask Jesus, (in my paraphrase words,) “Are You from another planet? Don’t you know what’s been going on? Where have You been? Don’t You know the things that are going on?”
At times, don’t we treat God like this as well.Especially when things don’t go the way we thought they should. Maybe Cleopas’s name is mentioned because we are Cleopas.Sometimes, for some reason our eyes are ‘restrained’ and we don’t ‘know Him.
Cleopas was sad about the events, depressed about what was going on, losing heart and losing hope. “Where have You been?” We yell at God, because things didn’t go the way we were hoping, and then we separate ourselves from Him,losing faith, or like these men, leave Jerusalem.
Jesus asks, “What things?” Luke 24:19.
Cleopas answers, …“we were hoping that …Jesus of Nazareth, who was a Prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people…was going to redeem Israel… (but the) ‘chief priests and our rulers delivered Him to be condemned to death, and crucified Him…Yes, and certain women of our company, who arrived at the tomb early, astonished us. When they did not find His body, they came saying that they had also seen a vision of angels who said He was alive. And certain of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said; but Him they did not see.” Luke 24:19-24.
And that is the story we hear so very often. Maybe you feel like you have ‘tried’ religion and it didn’t work. So you are walking away from Jerusalem so to speak to Emmaus. I am so happy for the story because ‘Jesus Himself drew near them!‘ They were upset about the current events and anxious about the future, and ‘their eyes were restrained so they did not know Him.’
“And beginning at Moses and all the Prophets, He expounded to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning Himself.” Luke 24:27.
Do you see this? They are talking with Jesus- Prayer, and they are listening to Him expound the Scriptures -reading His word, but they didn’t see Him…
until,
“Now it came to pass, as He sat at the table with them, that He took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them.”
Then their eyes were opened and they knew Him…”Luke 24:30,31.
Cleopas and his friends eyes were opened and they knew Him when He took the bread…
Maybe you have never taken Communion, or perhaps you take it every week, but maybe you have never made it personal, just you and Jesus. Break the bread, and hear the break, chew and know He loves you, even if you mess up over and over again. If you think you just can’t handle things the way they are and your problems abound…
break the bread and know Him.
“But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed.”Isaiah 53:5.
And the cup? The blood will wash away your stain of sin.
Revelation 1:5, “To Him who loved us and washed us from our sins in His own blood.”
The end of the story?
“So they rose up that very hour and returned to Jerusalem, and found the eleven and those who were with them gathered together,
saying,
“The Lord is risen indeed…!”
They returned to Jerusalem, because now they knew the Lord!
He himself has said,
“Do this in remembrance of Me.”
And now we can see why.Their eyes weren’t opened…until they did just that!
The Lord has been collecting your tears…
“You number and record my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle; are they not in Your book?” Psalm 56:8.
Thinking about tears, and children, and thinking about… God. God, we are to call You, “Father. You actually want us to think of You as ‘Abba’, Daddy,…a Parent. This helps Lord, because as a parent, there is one thing that I have learned in having babies-
they cry lots of tears, they grow into to toddlers, which in turn grow into rambunctious ‘kids’ and a bit ‘feisty’ as well, which in turn grow from children to young adults,and in between all that, there are hurts and pains which bring tears, and even crisis and loss, and this brings even more tears.Then the children grow, and become smart and strong and just need to find things out for themselves, which can also mean taking a wrong turn, or going down a dark alley- this can get messy, there is no control at times,and there are tears in all of that too, but God…
We are to call you “Father” and even the first of your creation called ‘man’, Adam – even he messed things up, and to think, he even had real ‘morning walks’ with You! But God…
You met with Adam after the great fall, (that brought it all down, actually, for us all, which means we all cry tears because of our fallen nature); and You met with Eve too. But God,… even from the beginning, You let them know, that there is forgiveness with You. Even then, and there You proclaimed a future victory on the cross, even though they didn’t understand. You are the Father, they were Your children. You forgive, and not only that, You provided The Way, and took off the itchy and difficult coverings, and You clothed and covered their nakedness with ‘Lamb’s skin’.
I don’t think, that before You clothed them You said, “OK, now, say the right words.” or “Do these particular things…” No, in the account in Genesis, we are left to read and ponder that it is true, Adam and Even in their fear and their shame simply hid, but You…
You called out their name.Yes, and they did answer back; and humorous it is, that for all the world to read, we see the children of God put ‘blame’ on the other! Then You simply spoke, the Word of God in truth, right there in the beginning, if we only read to page 3, we’ve go the whole of the ‘message’ in Gen. 3:15.
(Talking to the serpent), the voice of the Lord was heard, “And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; He shall bruise and tread your head under foot, and you will lie in wait and bruise His heel.” And even though this verse is not understood at first glance, it’s there instead of a rebuke from the Lord, or “why did you do that?” or “what were you thinking?” Instead, dear Father, You gave us The Way.
Lord,’Father God’ as You would have it to be, it is plain to see, that your children listened to Your words,they received Your coverings. Even then, You wiped away their tears. It’s all about You, Lord, it’s all about You…You provided The Way, they simply received.
So, ‘Father God’, as a wandering child, is it really true that You ‘number and record’ all my wanderings? And You see all my tears, even though I’ve brought some of them on myself, and You not only see me cry, but You collect each tear and put them in Your bottle? Do You really have a book, that You know my whole story? Do You really care that much Lord, could it really be true? Sometimes, Your children cannot even believe such things.
Father God, it is the case! You love Your ‘messy-at-times’ children. You – love – me. I choose to receive. Cover me in Your Love.Your Love of the’Lamb’s skin’, the sweet sacrifice of Your Son, Jesus on the cross. He only is the reason I can pray: ‘Be merciful and gracious to me, O God,’ (Ps. 56:1).’By [the help of] God I will praise His word…
because, “I am my Beloved’s and He is mine. His banner over me,…”(Song of Sol.2:4), His covering over me…
is love. So Please, Dear Children, please know…the Father loves you. He has provided all you need in His Son. Believe and Receive the provision and rest He so lovingly offers. He knows your name, and yes, He’s collected all those tears.
He 'makes' me lie down, so I hear His Hymn, "I Surrender All…".
First of all, the words, “He makes me,” make me think that I did not volunteer to lie down, even though they were green pastures that He had led me to!
“He makes me…”( Ps. 23:2), makes me think of some kind of struggle going on, much like trying to get a toddler to take some medicine when sick…“He makes me…”
And then I think, “who is He?” And I remember, He is my Good Shepherd.The One that knows what is best for me, the One that has said, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jer. 29:11.)And then I remember, that ‘this is the work of God, that you believe…’ (John 6 somewhere!). Am I really believing? Am I believing Him? Am I really giving Him the place to be my Shepherd or am I listening to the thinking of the times: “You deserve a break today”, or “Have it your way”, or “I’m entitled to more.” or “I have my rights!” …Oh, what a struggle. The reality? We are in a war!
God is speaking to my heart, “Toni, lay down your rights,…surrender it all to Me. That is what I have done, in surrendering to My Father. Can you pray as I did, ‘Not my will, but Yours be done’ concerning this situation?” Can you pray, “Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven”? (The Lord’s Prayer).
“He makes me to lie down…” (Psalm 23:2).
Can I really say with a whole heart of meaning and truth, the exhortation that I am given in God’s word: “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me…” (Gal 2:20). Can I really ‘die to myself and my independent thoughts and surrender to His hand to ‘make me lie down’ and trust and wait on Him in full surrender?
A ‘yielding’ needs to take place in my heart! The ‘yield’ sign is lit in my heart and I have been made to ‘lie down’ to consider my choices. The Holy Spirit is ever so busy ‘reminding’ me of ‘things that are true’. The Holy Spirit’s gentle and quiet voice speaks as I am ‘made to lie down’ and I hear… yes, I hear
So… ‘He makes me…’remember a hymn that I yearn to be true to but am so often just singing words. A hymn that I sing in ‘spirit’, but so many times – not ‘in truth’. And God, so desires ‘true worshipers who will worship Him in ‘spirit and truth. (John 4:23). He knows my struggle, but today, He is ‘making’ me to…”lie down” to lay down my rights, to give up my pride, to surrender…all:
“All to Jesus I surrender, All to Him I freely give; I will ever love and trust Him, In His presence daily live./ I surrender all, I surrender all, All to Thee my blessed Savior, I surrender all.
All to Jesus I surrender, Humbly at His feet I bow, Worldly pleasures all forsaken, Take me Jesus, take me now./ I surrender all, I surrender all. All to Thee my blessed Savior, I surrender all.
All to Jesus I surrender, Make me Savior wholly Thine; Let me feel the Holy Spirit, Truly know that Thou art mine./ I surrender all, I surrender all. All to Thee my blessed Savior, I surrender all.
All to Jesus I surrender, Lord, I give myself to Thee. Fill me with Thy love and power; Let Thy blessings fall on me. / I surrender all. I surrender all. All to Thee my blessed Savior, I surrender all.”
Yes, It is ‘the Lord that is my Shepherd, I have everything that I need. ‘He makes me to lie down in green pastures’ (Ps. 23:1,2), because ‘He knows that the plans that He has for me are plans of peace and not of evil, to give me a hope and a future’.(Jer. 29:11).
And I can have faith in Him because ‘I have been crucified with Christ: and I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me. And the real life I now have within this body is a result of me trusting in the Son of God’ (no matter what happens)’ knowing that He loves me and gave Himself for me’. (Gal.2:20).
And because ‘He loved me and gave Himself for me,’ I can take a breath and say today, “I surrender all, Jesus. Take me now, may I be wholly Thine. Let me feel Your Holy Spirit, truly know that Thou art mine! Fill me with Thy love and power, Lord I give myself to Thee…Let Your blessings fall on me.”
“And an amazing thing is happening Lord, as I surrender my will to Yours, I find myself in pastures of green beside still waters not frantic storms! O God, thank you for ‘making me to lie down! I can now tell that I am held ever so lovely in Your great arms! “I surrender all!”
How I came to know the Lord…remembering the story.
There was a day when I knew who God was, but I didn’t know Him.
I had no idea that He was watching over me, let alone singing over me, and waiting for me, with great long-suffering.
Today, I remember the story.
As a young girl, I attended church here and there with my friend Nan. I remember being excited one time I visited, when missionaries shared their experiences of giving in other countries. The whole experience stayed with me. And I remember coloring pages.
I think back in high school, attracted to the spiritual world. Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach was found in my hands over and over again. Quotes that moved me I wrote on scraps of paper to look at during school, like:
It wasn’t until I moved away from my home in Phoenix, Arizona to NYC, did I experience New Age powerless failure, to continually an insatiable hunger to meet God, the True and Living God.
and that’s after searching in a ‘spiritual world’ that was literally, ‘out on a limb’ without God! This search only led to healthy food and ‘self-realization, but NO power. No power to do a changing work in me.
I have been a child of God since a very rainy Palm Sunday in NYC when I was 20 years old, not by saying some traditional prayer, or anything like that, it was simply a process of God drawing me nearer to Him, and ultimately simply talking to God straight from my heart in desperation, and He heard…but before that took place, I guess the first real moment of conversion for me was making the decision to go to church in the first place! I walked into church on Palm Sunday because a few weeks prior, I had sat in a 12-step program meeting because I had eating disorders that were ‘making my life unmanageable.’
At this first meeting, someone was reading the steps to recovery and they read the words: “and came to believe in a Power greater than myself”, etc. As I was listening to the steps to recovery, I was looking around the room (it was a church meeting room). And there was a poster on the
wall that said, “Let GOD.”
Seeing this word ‘GOD’ turned on a light in my heart and I remember thinking, “Yes, I need God.”
It was that powerful for me. Words cannot even describe what had happened even then, but the words spoke to me, and perhaps it was because I was a big mess, and I finally admitted it and realized I couldn’t ‘fix’ it on my own.
The other signs on the wall (that I actually think on very often, even still) were: ‘HALT, never get too hungry, angry, lonely , or tired’,
and ‘Easy does it, first things first, one at a time’. But there was even another poster, it’s well known today, but to me, it was life transforming – it was the serenity prayer, ‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference!’
I think about these thoughts, even today because, each in their own way, they turn the chaos into a focus once again on God, who then in turn helps all the ‘frantic-ness of mind’ to HALT, and take note if I am simply hungry, angry, lonely, or just plain tired. Then in the discovery of my immediate need, be it to eat, or to forgive, or to make a call, or take a nap; there is now time to grasp: ‘Easy does it- first things first, one at a time’. All of a sudden, ‘paralysis’ now turns to life and simple direction, where I can breathe and move again, by acceptance: ‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. That I can accept those things that will not change, that I can take a look at myself and change the things that I actually have some control over, and that I continually look to God for wisdom to know the difference from the two!
Back to that Palm Sunday; for this reason, I walked into Norman Vincent Peale’s Church in Manhattan, (because I had read one of his ‘positive thinking books in high school. And I was now living in NY having graduated from the American Academy of Dramatic Arts nearby.
Anyway, I was there in my black pumps with my curly hair and my polka-dotted dress,(yes, kind of like Bette Boop!) and watched Norman Vincent Peale hold up his Bible, and I heard him say many times over, “This Book is the most Powerful Book ever written. This Book can turn you around! This is a most amazing Book!”
I was all ears, but when the choir sang, I talked with God. I prayed. And it was a sincere prayer from the depths of my heart. Kind of like the prayer that George Bailey prayed in ‘It’s a Wonderful Life when he prayed at the bar.’ I didn’t really have the ‘right’ words, but I had the right heart and I asked, “God, if Jesus is Your Son, show me.”
I know this prayer was genuine because, the first thing I did when I got out of that church building was- buy a Bible!
I bought one of those easy to read paraphrased Bibles and began reading it as I traveled on the subways. God answers prayer.
It is true, ‘You will seek Him and find Him, when you seek Him with all of your heart.’ He forgave me, (even though it did take me awhile to really believe that He did), I learned to forgive myself and began a process of forgiving others.
He helped me learn how to eat, and He healed me of my eating disorders. Now, this didn’t happen over-night, this took a process of time. But, do you know what it really took?
Quite honestly, it was thinking on a particular Bible verse that God put on my heart – that was the answer to freedom for me, and continues to be the verse that gets me on track when I find myself going the wrong way. You are probably wondering, “How can that be true?” “How can a Bible verse set someone straight?” “Just a ‘catchy’ phrase can get someone on track?”
Well, when you are ‘sick of being sick’ and you want your life back – when you are sick of being ‘sick and tired’ something finally happens – your ears are open, your heart is open, and your mind then, is able to ‘think on what is true’ and not the lie. There is POWER in TRUTH. “The verse?” you ask.
Matthew 16:24, “Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone desires to come after Me,
let him deny himself,
and take up his cross,
and follow Me.’
“For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.”
You see, with compulsive obsessive behavior, I needed to ‘deny myself’ – I needed to deny myself the ‘self destructive’ behavior , and my negative, insecure, and angry thought life. Period. It’s the thought life that is the killer in destructive behavior. What in the world are you thinking? Well, whatever it is, that will make or break you.
I then needed to take up my cross. Now to me, that meant, “Not my will, but God’s will be done.” My will was to destroy all the good, God’s will was to bring good into my life!
Not my will, but God’s will be done!
That is what ‘picking up my cross’ means to me. Those were the words of Jesus before facing His total surrender to the excruciating pain of the cross. You see, MY WILL was to destroy all that was good, that was the ‘natural’ me. Insecure, afraid, etc.
BUT God wanted my life to be used to glorify Him, not to be tied up in knots with an eating disorder. That was not God’s will for me. So I had to – over and over again- deny myself, pick up my cross and pray, “Jesus , not my will but Yours be done.”
And I believe this is a daily thing. I believe this is a ‘moment by moment’ thing, I believe this is a ‘step by step’ thing-which leads me to… follow Him, to continue to grow in Him. And, in order to do this, I needed to surround myself with others that wanted to follow Him, because I was in a battle, I could not do this on my own.
Moment by moment, day by day as I learned to surrender to the will of the Father, I began to be healed. I had set-backs, but I learned ‘if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us of all unrighteousness.’ (1 John 1:9), I had someone that I was accountable to, to call when I wasn’t thinking ‘right’.
God helped me overcome an eating disorder, one day at a time, and good thing because it was His plan for me to go through 11 complete term pregnancies, and 4 miscarriages.)
Yes, and that was the other miracle in my story. I was ‘never’ going to have kids! As I grew in the Lord, however, my attitude became, “Lord, what is Your will for my life!”
For me, His will is quite simply, to be a child of God, a wife and a mother, and a sister, and a friend, and to encourage all to worship the Lord with a song, (and even perhaps to play the instrument which leads others to do the same!)
But I can’t do even the basic things in life well without Him, so I wake up each morning praying, “Search me O God, and know my heart, try me and know my anxieties, see if there is any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Ps. 139:23,24)
“And in that day you will say:
O LORD, I will praise You; Though You were angry with me, Your anger is turned away, and You comfort me.
Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid; ‘For YAH, the LORD, is my strength and my song; He also has become my salvation.” Isaiah 12: 1,2.
So my first song? Simply discovering that yes, it’s true, “Jesus loves me, this I know…”
So, for people like me that struggle in their thought life, God has shown me, that many times, it’s a song that is the remedy. It’s His word and truth as well. It’s how I’m thinking for the moments of my day.
First, I have to stop- HALT- to take it easy, first things first one at a time, to continue through my day , and think on Him the ‘author and finisher of my faith’ and as the crazy, unexpected rough edges of life come and hurt me, like a thorn on a bush on a finger full of nerves.
Even if today is the first day you have acknowledged God, it is not the first day that He has acknowledged you. He’s just waiting for you to respond to His love.
I had no idea how God loved me. But He shows me more and more. There is a songwriter, worshiper, worship leader who was given some words right before she went home to be with Him. I believe these are the words God has for you and me, yesterday, even in darkness, today, in uncertainty and forever for all of eternity, for all who turn and acknowledge Him as their Father, and Jesus His Son:
I Will Care For You,by Mary Barrett
I sing this love song to you My child, I love you with an everlasting love.
Trust Me and hold on to me with all your heart. I will care for you.
My love has drawn you with tenderness.
Nothing can take away My love for you.
Trust Me and hold on to Me with all your heart. I will care for you.
Love letter written so long ago, Promises given , I’ll never let you go.
I sing this love song to you My child…I will care for you. Mary Barrett, The Vanishing Point, footsteprecords.com
Maybe I share my story just for myself to remember where God has brought me from, but maybe it will encourage you. I do pray that you at least know that God is able to accomplish all that concerns you…find an old song from church or an old hymnal, start ‘chewing’ on those words of truth – you are what you eat… I mean, ‘think’, you know!
Much love in Christ, Toni Rypkema
Rest your 'tent' on My Solid Foundation. love, God
“Rock of Ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in Thee…” Sometimes, we just want to hide ourselves. We seek rest. We’re tired. We want to rest our tired ‘tents’ somewhere safe, somewhere solid. Sometimes,nothing makes sense. Sometimes, we just want to hide ourselves and hear God speak audibly. We just want to hear Him.
The stories are written,and we know that even John the Baptist had doubts. John the Baptist, who even saw the heavens open, and the Holy Spirit descend like a dove and remain on the head of Jesus,and even proclaimed with his own lips, “Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!” (John 1:29). But, it is recorded for all of us to read,
“And when John had heard in prison about the works of Christ, he sent two of his disciples and said to Him, “Are You the coming One, or do we look for another?”(Matthew 11:2,3).John the Baptist had doubts! Even John the Baptist!
And Jesus answered and said to them, “Go and tell John the things which you heard and see.” (Matthew 11:4). “The blind receive their sight and the lame walk; the lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear; the dead are raised up and the poor have the gospel preached to them. “And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me.”
But there are times, in this sojourn, our tents have been set in the wilderness, and we just ‘don’t know!’ We just need to hear it straight from God! What are the things which have been told? “Remind us Lord, what are the blessings promised? Hide us Lord, and speak, Your servants are listening…”
“My dear child, you are growing, yes, you are growing in the ‘grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ my Son.’ (2 Peter 3:18). Growing is painful.But you are growing in the knowledge of Him when you seek the blessings promised. You see, ultimately, He is the blessing promised. Jesus doesn’t give you peace, He is peace. “Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”(John 14:27).
Jesus doesn’t give you strength, He is strength; “I will love You, O LORD, my strength, the LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer…”(Ps. 18:1).
Is your health poor? “I will restore health to you…” (Jer. 30:17). Do you have wounds, my child? “I will heal your wounds says the Lord…” (Jer. 30:17).
Are you an outcast? Have you been ‘cast-out’? Do you feel no-one cares, that no one seeks after you?
Haven’t you heard the promises? “Thus says the Lord: Behold I will release from captivity the tents of Jacob, and have mercy on his dwelling places; the city shall be rebuilt on its own old mound-like site, and the palace shall be dwelt in after its former fashion.” (Jer. 30:18). “Out of them [city and palace] shall come songs of thanksgiving and the voices of those who make merry.” (Jer. 30:19). These promises are for Israel past and present, dear child, but they are for you as well…
“But the firm foundation [laid by] God stands, sure and unshaken, bearing this seal (inscription): The Lord knows those who are are His, and let every one who names [himself by] the name of the Lord give up all iniquity and stand aloof from it.” (2 Tim. 2:19).
Don’t just look from the distance on the Solid Foundation of God – build your life on it- invite Him to invade your tent! God’s voice is speaking! “In that day shall this song be sung in the land of Judah…” (Is. 26:1). (But remember, your tent resting on My Solid Foundation, to Me is also the ‘land of Judah…’ My word is for you, my child, and my chosen nation, Israel).
Rest your ‘tent’ on My Solid Foundation. “In that day…” the day each and every day, each and every moment that you choose to rest your tent on Me, “shall this song be sung in the land…”We have a strong city; the Lord sets up salvation as walls and bulwarks. Open the gates…” (Is. 26:2), (Open the opportunities – our disappointments are God’s appointments,) “Open the gates, that the [uncompromisingly] righteous nation which keeps faith and her troth with God may enter in…” (Is. 26:2)
“WAIT A MINUTE!” (You might say), “I’m not ‘uncompromisingly righteous’, I don’t ‘keep faith in perfections!’ In this you are right, “There are none righteous, no not one.” (Romans 3:10), “But now, may the God of hope fill you will all joy and peace in believing…”(Romans 15:13), believing in the promise of the One who came to Save! “But now may the God of hope fill you will all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13).
Jesus doesn’t give you hope, He is hope!
Rest your ‘tent’ on the Solid Foundation of God! “Yes, ‘I will guard you and keep you in perfect peace whose mind… is stayed on me.”(Is. 26:3). “Commit yourself to Me, lean on Me, and hope confidently on Me.” (Is. 26:3). Rest your tent on My Solid Foundation and ‘trust in the Lord – commit yourself to Him, lean on Him, hope confidently on Him – for ever;
for I AM an everlasting Rock – the Rock of Ages.” (Is. 26:4, Amplified).
Can you hear Me? He who has ears to hear, let him hear what the Lord says, “Do not let your hearts be troubled (distressed, agitated). You believe in and adhere to and trust in and rely on God, believe in and adhere to and trust in and rely also on Me.” (John 14:1). Rest your ‘tent’ on this Solid Foundation, “In My Father’s house there are many dwelling places (homes)(not tents!) If it were not so, I would have told you, for I am going to prepare a place for you.” John 14:2.
The blessing of Promise, is Jesus. “Think over these things I am saying – understand them and grasp their application…”(2 Timothy 2:7).”constantly keep in mind Jesus Christ, the Messiah, [as] risen from the dead…” (2 Timothy 2:8. (!).In that day shall this song be sung:
“I will bless the Lord who has given me counsel;yes, my heart instructs me in the night seasons. I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved…”(Ps. 16:7,8).
“Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory [my inner self] rejoices; my body, (my tent) shall rest and confidently rest in safety.” (Ps. 16:9)…”You will show me the paths of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy…”(Ps. 16:11).
Our Prayer? “Lord, help me ‘rest my tent’ on Your Solid Foundation!”
The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want…
Speaking Lord, in a Psalm of old, because it’s all that my mind and my broken heart can hold,
“The Lord is my Shepherd…” I am Your lamb, the one making the most noise, but now, by Your feet I am…
“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want…” What takes me so long to come to this place? I don’t know-but in brokenness I come, and honestly, I’m satisfied in Your embrace.
I want and I seek after so many things – and don’t even remember You, on that tree.
But yet, You still love me…Your sheep gone astray, but inside I yearn to love you completely.
“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want…” Why don’t I get this and understand, that when I finally make You Lord of my heart,and stop all the fighting and carrying on, that, then I can see that You know my name, and You actually are carrying me…in Your very own Hand.
Then I see quite clearly, You opened my eyes, that yes, You’ve made me to ‘lie down’ but it’s on green pastures, yes, pastures of green. And You are leading me beside ‘still waters’ even though I’m surrounded by a storm, the waters You bring me to are still, they’re not angry and mean.
Why do I think so wrong, so much of the time – believing the lie that You take it all away? Because it’s not true, not true at all-all that You take away are the many, many chains…
The chains of bondage that held me down to destroy me,but Lord, when I finally, deep down in my heart and resolve made You my Shepherd, (the One in charge and not me), You gave me grace and truth and a promise…to never leave.
“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want…” I’m never alone.
“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want…” Now You lead me and guide me to do the right thing and what is amazing, is now I can choose to sing.
For Your name’s sake, and not my own – moment by moment I seek to obey, but I can’t do it by myself.”The Lord is my Shepherd…” those very words are my ‘Ebenezer Stone’.
I’ve got to stay close, very close to Your heels, because “Yea, even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil…” because Fear wants to ‘steal’, Fear wants to take me by the hand,
and lead me in confusion and doubt which only blinds me so I can’t understand.
But, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want…” You never leave me, You’re right by my side, and then –
You give me Your Word, and You give me a song, and thank You Lord…You give me a friend.
And “You prepare a table” for us, Your little lambs, in the presence of the fear and the doubt and the anger of it all-and You feed us with Your love and our eyes comprehend…
that what is true is our cup is not half or even completely empty as we thought – our cup is running over with Your love – we’re the dear lambs You bought.
“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life…” which now is forever! There’s no end of my life!
All because of You, my Good Shepherd, I will live forever. I’m not just Your lamb, I’m Your BRIDE! To love and to cherish forever and a day. Surely goodness and mercy shall forever follow my way.
“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want…” I’m not weary, I’m not broken anymore. I am full, I am satisfied, I have the joy of the Lord, even though on the outside it appears to be all bad…what’s bad is made good! That’s what our Good Shepherd does! Don’t ask me how, just open your eyes and SEE. Look up and SEE, the ‘house of the Lord’ that’s where I live, now, even today…
and for all of eternity!
“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.”
My Testimony. What God Did
You see, I grew up with only the fairy tales. I grew up with the finger’s – crossed and the blown up Easter Bunnies and Santa Clause coming to town, and also the tooth fairy – but the fears and the insecurities and then anger rooted itself so deep in me-that there was no way out.
All the believing I was doing was only in things like a vapor in a cloud.
When I reached for what I thought had substance to hold on to, it would simply vanish into thin air.
I moved away from my home in Arizona to NYC, and the ‘mess’ that was inside me was working its way to destroy every bit of life in me, the ‘mess’ manifested itself in an eating disorder. My life became unmanageable.
I wasn’t seeking God. I wasn’t thinking about God – but He knew me and He was watching me. So, in desperation, one day, I walked into a room filled with people with the same struggle and I read a poster on the wall- it only had one word on it- written in large letters: GOD.
The mystery? That written word on the wall was the beginning of the rest of my life.
You see, I needed something that had substance to hold on to – vapor couldn’t hold me.
I knew all the things that I needed to do. But, I had no power to do them. Self-destruction and defeat followed me like a shadow.
Somehow, I realized that GOD was the help I needed. I knew then and there that my only hope was Him.
I didn’t need some “religion’ or “going through the motions.” I needed a Savior.
I actually owned a Bible that was given to me in High School by the Key Club. I had packed it with me in my move from Arizona to NYC. Doesn’t everyone need to pack a Bible when moving from your hometown to NYC as a 19 year old?
I had an eating disorder.
My mind believed true things that weren’t: “You’re fat.” “You’ll never work off all those calories.” “There’s no hope for you.” “Why’d you eat that?”
Like a circus spinning in a hundred directions with scary clowns and music of confusion, my life was unraveling.
I had no peace.
I had the goals. I had the “how to” books.
But on that day, when my heart screamed inside of me, “I’m sick of being sick!”
Hunger set in. The exit door to this “life of insanity,” was my #1 goal. No more hiding behind pretty smiles with a self-defeating heart, I sat in a building that had the word: GOD.
My search for Him began. I bought a Bible and I started reading.
I remember reading one verse in particular, Jesus said it,“If any man come after Me, let him deny himself . . .” (Matthew 16:24).
God impressed upon my heart this thought, “Toni, you are destroying yourself with this impulsive – compulsive behavior. I want you to deny yourself of that – because I want to give you a life that is free and full.
“If any man come after Me, let him deny himself, pick up his cross, and follow Me.” As I was learning how to eat without ‘great panic’ ,and ‘denying myself ‘ the destructive behavior that occupied so much of my mental brain, time and energy, God had me focus on the next part of the verse: “pick up your cross…” And even though I didn’t really understand what ‘pick up your cross’ meant, God started helping me understand this simply to mean, ‘not my will but God’s’ .
This is what He wanted me to remember , that ‘picking up my cross was,’ Not my will that wanted to destroy all the good, but God’s will’ which was to love me and give me life and even abundant at that.
He wanted me to have joy.
God began to heal my angry spirit. I learned to continue to “follow Him” (Matthew 16:24), and not my own crazy roller coaster path, to the best of my ability. He drew me to Himself. And through time, He healed me completely, He saved me from the ‘self-destructive’ road I was traveling on, He raised me up from a pit and set my feet on a Rock.
He unveiled Himself in His word.
“Call unto Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you know not of.”(Jeremiah 33:3). He did for me, and He still is, day by day.
And the reason I tell my story. Because I want you to know that He did, and to be reminded that…
Nothing is impossible with God. (Matthew 17:20).
…and the train done gone
The people keep a comin’ and the train done gone. Do you remember an old Christmas spiritual called, Mary Had a Baby? St. Helena Island Spiritual.
“So all went to be registered, everyone to his own city. And Joseph also went up …out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, to … Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David.” Luke chapter 2:4.
There was a lot going on then, and there is a lot going on now.
This story isn’t only about the past, this story is about today, right now, this very moment. Mary had a baby, yes, Lord.
It has deep soul and sweet simplicity:
Mary had a baby, yes, Lord,
Mary had a baby, yes my Lord,
Mary had a baby, yes Lord,
People keep a-comin’ an’ the train done gone.
It has it’s own natural melody. But, I can’t stop thinking about, People keep a-comin’ an’ the train done gone.
What ever do you mean, ‘people keep a-comin’, and “What train?”, you might ask.
Well, first you’ve got to hear that Mary had a baby. Yes, the familiar Story is told in Luke 2.
What did she name Him? Yes Lord?
What did she name Him, yes my Lord,
What did she name Him, Yes, Lord,
The people keep-a-coming but the train done gone.
“A virgin shall be with Child and they shall call His name, Immanuel.” The Book of Matthew tells us in chapter 1 verse 23.
Immanuel means God with us. That is His name.
The people keep a comin’ and the train done gone.
These words make perfect sense. With this world spinning out of synch these days. Just as in that hectic time of Luke 2 verse 1: “And it came to pass in those days that a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered.”
All the world should be registered? – The people keep a comin’ …
The word of God is living. It’s alive. It rings true yesterday, today, and forever.
‘Mary had a baby, Yes Lord…what did she name Him? Yes, my Lord… ‘She named Him King Jesus, Yes Lord, …the people keep a coming but the train done gone.”
Days are busy. We are occupied with important things. But there is urgency in this matter – our eternity is at stake.
Perhaps you believe that there’s time to deal with this tomorrow. And why does it always have to be about Jesus? might be your question.
People here, people there, people everywhere. And, Jesus was born. Not in the inn, but the barn.
“Joseph went up … out of Nazareth to …Bethlehem … to be registered with Mary, his betrothed wife, who was with child. So it was, that while they were there, the days were completed for her to be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.”
The birth announcement was made to a few smelly shepherds:
“Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid.” Luke 2:8.
“And the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.”
“I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.” this is what the angel said.
A Savior has been born. Not just for that time way back when, but today – the good tidings will bring great joy because “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son…”
“…that whosoever would believe in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16.
The Immanuel has come. He is Savior of the world. That Babe left all His glory of heaven to be born in a barn and wrapped in a few rags for me. He came down for me. He, left all of heaven and came for you…
‘Mary had a baby, Yes Lord… The King of Kings has come. The glory train arrives today. We much choose to get on.
Mary had a baby, Yes lord!
The people keep-a-coming and the train’s right here.
J
There is a friend…
Our Father in heaven knows what we need. And there are times, when God knows that what we need is… a friend.
Some of my ‘friends’ I have never met, but they encourage me every day. One of them is Oswald Chambers. He wrote the infamous book entitled, “My Utmost for His Highest.”
Many times the words that God prompted him to write, were like the words of a best friend to help keep me on track. For instance, August 11, he writes,
“When you come to your wits’ end and feel inclined to panic – don’t!”
What great words from a friend!
But this wisdom came a little late. I have a friend or two that have seen me do just that – panic!
How beautiful of my Father in heaven to give me friends who will love me still, even after moments of panic. Moments when I forget that God was on the throne and Sovereign over all. When I forget that He cares for me in an intimate way and is looking out for me. Moments when I forget that He has a plan, and a ‘plan for good and not evil’ (Jer. 29:11) for me.
The shadows of fear are always right there hiding in those closets in our minds!There is temptation to ‘panic’. We then miss our step and fall into in a pit of despair, carrying about great heaviness…like Romans 6:7:24,
“O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?”
But my friend, (Oswald Chambers!) whom I have never met, encourages:
“Stand true to God and He will bring out His truth in a way that will make your life an expression of worship.” (August 11, My Utmost for His Highest.)
Our Father in heaven knows what His children need. He does care and He is there, and He gives us brothers and sisters ‘in Him’. He knows that we need a friend to help ‘sharpen our iron’ when it gets dull. He knows we need a friend to help guide our feet back to ‘paths of righteousness’.
He knows that we need a friend sometimes, that we simply bow our heads with and seek Him, and Him only, because He is the only One who can be our help in our seemingly impossible situations.
That is why we can give thanks to God, no matter what is going on – because He gives us friends to help and pray and walk this journey with – and sometimes at great distances away -but God simply knits hearts together.
Maybe God gave us these special bonds of friendship to help us ‘see’ how close our Immanuel really is to us. He is our Immanuel. He is our ‘God with us’, always.
I had a friend remind me, “He loves you, me, everyone. He answers prayer – yesterday, everyday. We just need to call out to HIM and He will always be there, always!” Now that is a good friend. One that always points to God, no matter what happens. You see, this particular friend, he needed healing. Cancer had invaded his body. But his response about healing? “I’m healed already!” He called out to God,continually, and trusted God even in the cold darkness of sickness. Even when he could hold on no longer, God had a hold on him, “I am with you always.”
God’s word tells us,(Proverbs 18:24), “But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
We have a Friend, Jesus, who hears us when we call. He answers with strength an courage:
“If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?…It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. ” Romans 8:31,34.
That is why my friend could answer with strength and courage.
Jesus, our Friend that sticks even closer than a brother, He is sitting at the right hand of God and He is praying for us, even now! “We just need to call out to HIM and He will always be there, always.”
Can anything separate us from the love of God? Nothing, not even death. Nothing in life, no angels nor principalities, no powers can even separate us from the love of God. Nothing is ‘able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.’ (Romans 8:39).
Thanking God today for ‘friends. Friends that we don’t know,but speak truth. Thanking God for friends that are always pointing to Jesus: “He loves you, me, everyone.” And perhaps some of these most special friends went on to be with the Lord, but I believe they are praying for us…
that our lives might be an expression of worship, and in turn, we might be a friend…
July 20, 2013. Another star has been added to my heavens.
July 20, 2013. Another star has been added to my heavens. You see, I have written before about the stars that are in my sky, they are stars that shine like a ‘cloud of witnesses that surround me’ and they speak. Oh, yes, their voice still speaks!
I have heard it said, “We glorify the Lord when we endure trials in a heroic way.” The stars in my sky did just that. And each of the stars in my sky are heroes. And each had their own individual ‘song of deliverance’ but ultimately the words of their song was, “The joy of the Lord is my strength.” Neh 8:10.
Yes, I can clearly see from their witness that surrounds me that ‘if we sow in hope, we will reap in joy.’
We all know that when it is darkest, the stars shine the brightest. And the stars tell of the glory of God. And ‘day after day they tell their story…and their message goes out through all the world.” Ps. 19:1,3.
And their voice rings out with brilliance and reminds us, “Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” Ps. 37:3-4.
And our heroes endured their trials and have glorified the Lord. Yes, we can see His faithfulness by their voices that tell their story, and we remember their witness when they were with us, “So we do not give up. Our physical body is becoming older and weaker, but our spirit inside us is made new everyday. We have small troubles for a while now,”
(and we know that their troubles were far from small),
“but they are helping us gain an eternal glory. that glory is much greater than the troubles. So we set our eyes not on what we see but on what we cannot see. What we see will last only a short time. but what we cannot see will last forever.” 2 Cor 4:16-18.
And we watched them in their trouble, and we hear their voices; this is the speech of our heroes: “So we always have courage. We know that while we live in this body, we are away from the Lord.
We live by what we believe,
not by what we can see. So I say that we have courage. And we really want to be away from this body and be at home with the Lord.
Our only goal is to please God.
We want to please Him whether we live here or there.” 2 Cor. 5:6-9.
Oh, how their lights shine, how their voices encourage us, as they point to the One who loves, as they point to the One Who is able, as they point to the One Who overcame. Their speech can be heard now, this is how they speak, our stars that have been added to our heavens beam with encouragement:
“Run the race that is before you and never give up. Remove from your lives anything that would get in the way. And remove the sin that so easily catches you. Look only to Jesus. He is the one who began the faith in you and He will make your faith perfect. (Their words are God’s very words. Hebrews 12:2. Children’s Int. Version.)
The night sky is so dark without the stars. Our stars remind us that Jesus suffered. He suffered for each of us. ‘But he accepted the shame of the cross as if it were nothing. He did this because of the joy that was before Him. And now He is sitting at the right side of God’s throne.’ Hebrews 12:2. And our heroes are right there with Him!
Thank you Paul Loures for always pointing to Jesus. And you still are. We can hear you saying, “Look to Jesus’ example so that you will not get tired and stop trying.” (Heb. 12:3.) Your star is shining, and it will forever, and forever… is a long time!